Mindset

3 Ways Holding Back Your Truth is Messing Up Your Creative Business

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I’ve been so scared of manifesting.

Not the activity itself but of talking about it.

I’ve been manifesting for years, but I’m often reluctant to use the actual word in my content.

[If you have no idea what I’m talking about check out this post from Amanda Frances about manifesting. She’s one of the people I admire and I’m heading to Bali in a few days for a retreat she’s hosting.]

All my private clients have heard about it or discussed it with me. Yet I’ve had this reluctance to claim it.

I’ve always worked hard to maintain a specific narrative around myself. I’ve held my cards close to my chest in the hopes it would somehow keep me safe.

I guess it has to some extent that I’m still here and doing well. But it’s unclear if it’s more helped or hindered beyond that.

As I’ve started creating more content, I reflected on the fact that I haven’t shared my full truth with my audience. I vowed to start sharing more  because I realized that not doing so would hold a business back in three big ways.


1 | IT KEEPS YOUR FROM CONNECTING WITH YOUR SOULMATE CLIENTS

When you don’t share your truth in your content it makes it harder to find your soulmate clients. You create a barrier they have to see past and connect with your heart. And those are the best clients. The ones that connect with your heart.

It’s the same as with people in real life. If you’re not real. If you don’t show them who you are, then they can’t connect with who you are.  They’re connecting only on the surface or with a facade.

People may appreciate what they see on the surface enough to buy from you. In fact it is possible to still make good money without sharing fully. But you’re going to limit yourself.

Especially as a coach or if you’re charging higher prices for your work. Or any other service or product where someone anticipates a transformation.

If someone is making a big investment they’re going to need to feel your energy. More so than for a lower priced investment.

People buy from the heart. We all make our decision about purchasing something through our emotions first. We then use or reason and logic to justify whichever decision we’ve made. It’s when they feel the emotional connection to YOU that you become the person who must provide it. Without that, they’re in need of the product or service. They may not have been able to feel that you’re the right person to support them through it.

Early in my business, it would happen that someone wouldn’t be familiar with coaching. They would come across me and my work. They would be curious about getting coaching support and schedule a consult. We’d have a call and they would end the conversation committed to invest in coaching.

But not committed to working with me.

As you can imagine, this was frustrating and confusing. It hurt knowing that someone wanted something that I offered but not wanting it from me.

It’s because I wasn’t speaking my truth. I wasn’t being real enough and showing enough of who I am to stand out and resonate on a deeper level.

Even in my business, I’ve been telling a story of inferiority and struggle.  I’m ready to release it.


2 | IT DIMINISHES THE MEANING AND PURPOSE OF YOUR BUSINESS

For the heart-centered creative women I meet — they’ve created their businesses...

... not only to make money
...but also to have freedom, and flexibility
...and also because they want to do work that is meaningful and purposeful.

That was one of the things I was eager about when I started my business. Working as a lawyer, as I was before, is important work. And noble. And valuable work. But I was struggling to find meaning and purpose in it.

When you’re sharing what’s real for you, speaking from you heart, your work is going to be more meaningful. Because your marketing and messaging can have impact outside of you.


3 | IT KEEPS YOUR FROM STEPPING INTO THE FULLNESS OF YOUR POTENTIAL AS A BUSINESS OWNER

You’re going to serve and grow your audience best when you’re sharing from your heart. When you share your truth you’re offering a unique perspective that only you can share. It’s one of the things that can  allow you to set yourself apart from anyone else who might provide a service like you.

Sharing in this way is what allows you to become not just a service provider, but an actual leader.

The creatives and entrepreneurs I meet aren’t just doing a job. They’re walking into their calling. They have a desire to serve people in the highest way they can. Without being open about your truth, you can’t do that.

There needs to be a willingness to claim space. To be bold and proud of who we are and what our business represent. I know what a challenge this can.

I was a shy child. I have a strong need to stay quiet and slide under the radar. That felt important to me and I took that on as a sort of defense mechanism. Now as an adult, it can be challenging to accept that I no longer need to keep myself safe in that way.

If you haven’t been able to connect with your ideal clients as powerfully as you know as possible, some things you might consider are:

  • Write out your businesses values and display them on your website

  • Write out what your business believes

  • On your work with me page on your website, be clear and super specific about who your ideal clients are

  • Do a series of blogs, videos, or livestreams about what your business believes

  • Open up about something you’ve been holding  back on

Yes, it can feel frightening to share more of ourselves. But we open ourselves up for more abundance, flow, creativity, and leadership when we do.

I’ll be over here cheering for you!

Xx,
Crystal

3 Things to Know About Fear to Create a Business and Life You Love

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I was on a flight from Tel Aviv, Israel to Zurich, Switzerland on Tuesday. I had to be up at 1:20am Tel Aviv time to make it on time for my flight to Switzerland. I rarely fall asleep quickly even under the best of circumstances, but when I’m excited about something, such as traveling to a destination where I’ve never been, and staying in a stunning ski lodge (it’s seriously next level, join me on Insta to see what I’m talking about) my insomnia is greatly intensified. Thus even though I tried to fall asleep around 9pm to get several hours of sleep, it was impossible. I slept for a total of approximately 23 minutes.

I got up with Kobi and we headed off to the airport. By 5am my excitement was finally turning into exhaustion — just in time to board the plane. While waiting for the plane to board I suggested to Kobi that we upgrade to business class. He went over to the ticket counter where the woman informed us that you can only upgrade upon check in.

Now, I know that different airlines have policies on this, and I haven’t ever traveled on Swiss Air before, but there have been numerous occasions when I’ve been able to upgrade at the gate, so I was skeptical. I could see from how she was standing that she felt more exhausted than I did and assumed that her response was more about her own tiredness and disinterest in performing the transaction than any official policy.

Anyway.

We board our flight and I see as we walk through business class that there are numerous empty seats despite those passengers boarding first. We then begin our march into the economy class section of the plan where we walk past several screaming and/or crying children, arguing couples, and other mayhem. We sit down and the seats feel exceedingly fall to me. Immediately give Kobi that look that says — “WTF Kobi why isn’t there more space in these seats you should have gotten us business class seats you see that there are so many seats available that flight attendant was obviously lying to us  I’m sooooo annoyed right now.” So even before I can open my mouth to actually say those words, he says to me, “should I see if we can upgrade after take off?”

Of course, I’m thinking, “yes, obviously.”

But instead I say, “no, don’t bother.”

“Are you sure? You look annoyed.”

“I’m not annoyed except by you saying I’m looking annoyed.”

Obviously, I was being super reasonable.

My husband is both stubborn and devoted to my happiness (yes, even when I’m being unreasonable and/or bratty) so he doesn’t drop it.

He’s like, “why not just ask, what’s the worst that can happen?”

And I play out this whole long scene in my head: I ask the question that I think I already know the answer to. The answer is no. Not only does it feel like a rejection but I look like an idiot and all of the other passengers sitting near me on the plane now know that I’m an idiot who asks stupid questions and embarasses herself. How mortifying.

It may sound like a bit of a leap, but this happens. And I know I’m not alone in this.


SO MANY WOMEN ARE AFRAID OF ASKING, SAYING, OR DOING CERTAIN THINGS BECAUSE OF HOW THEY THINK OTHER PEOPLE WILL JUDGE THEM.

I know I’m not the only one who holds back from asking for what she really desires. Not just in life, but in business as well.

Although I’ve certainly found a level of success, it doesn’t escape me how much more is possible if I were willing to just say what I want to say.
...Ask for what I desire.
...Let go of all the fear about what people will think if I’m less than perfect at all times.

Especially because that fear holding me back is just a fear of a feeling — there’s no real risk.


1 | FEAR IN OUR MIND IS OFTEN A FEAR OF JUDGMENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE

Because here’s how the worst case scenario spirals in my mind…

I ask about the upgrade, the attendant rudely replies, “no, you idiot, if you can’t upgrade at the gate why would you be able to upgrade on the flight?!” My sensitive little heart contracts at the harsh tone and rudeness of the flight attendant as the embarrassment and humiliation washes over me.  The rest of the flight I sit in my seat while the other passengers laugh at my arrogance and stupidity. The passengers surrounding me all have extensive networks within my industry and word quickly spreads of my holier than thou attitude and idiocy on the flight and no one ever wants to work with me again. It’s impossible for me to make money in my business and I’m not longer able to maintain my life with my husband who grows tired of me and leaves me. I’m left all alone abandoned and unable to take care of myself…

My worst case scenario changes ever so slightly depending on the context, but it always ends with me being abandoned, hated, homeless, and miserable.

But here’s the worst thing that could actually happen in my real life here on planet earth…

I ask about the upgrade. The flight attendant says, “Unfortunately, no, that’s not possible at this time.” And that’s it.

Even if the flight attendant or one of the other passengers on the flight does think I’m stupid or pompous (1) there’s nothing I can do about it, (2) there’s no way I’ll ever know, and (3) it’s none of my business.

OTHER PEOPLE’S PRIVATE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ABOUT ME ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

I can’t know and I’ll have a much better and happier life if I just stay the heck out of it.


3 | YOUR FEAR ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE

And that’s the thing with fear. It’s innate — it’s totally natural and it’s not going anywhere. The point isn’t to get rid of all our fear because that’s just not a thing. The point is to do what you want to do, say what you want to say, ask for what you desire even with the fear.


3 | YOU GET TO MAKE A CHOICE

Fear is an instinctual response. We’ve been equipped with the fight, flight, or freeze reaction as long as we’ve been around.

Instinctual ust means it’s our immediate reaction. Our instincts don’t have to limit us, though.

Just because something is your first reaction doesn’t mean you don’t get a choice. You do.

You can have your immediate reaction of fight, flight, or freeze. Then you can use your intellectual brain, instead of the reptilian one. And decide…

Decide to take a deep breath…
Decide to question your thoughts…
Decide to choose something different…

Yes. You can consciously choose something other than your instinctual fear response.

If you knew that you couldn’t get it wrong — that most of your fears have no basis in reality, what would you do differently today?

Now…

Go do it.

I’ll be over here cheering for you!

Xx,
Crystal

Employee to Entrepreneur: 5 Tips for Transitioning from Your 9-5 to Entrepreneurship

There’s are moments in life, epiphanies, when we realize the status quo isn’t making us happy and something has to change. They can sneak up on you, building for months or even years, before you finally have a moment of perfect clarity and see something that should have been obvious for a while.

But sometimes, there’s no warning.

They hit you out of nowhere.

And once you’ve had that moment, there’s no going back.

One of these moments happened to me when I was working as a lawyer. I’d spent years building my career and following a certain path. I really thought I had the whole ‘work thing’ sorted. Until suddenly, I realized I wasn’t happy in my job.

And because I wasn’t content at work, I wasn’t happy in my life.

There was so much I wanted: happiness, freedom, love, but none of it was happening because the ‘work’ section of my life was totally out of alignment. What I was doing didn’t match what I wanted to be doing, and it was throwing everything else off-kilter.

Once I realized this, I knew it was time for a change.

But change is scary.

Super scary.

But it can be so goooood.


The First Stage Of Transition

When you come to one of these revelations and realize that you aren’t happy with your current life or career, the next challenge is to decide to do something about it.

Once you’ve set upon this course, you need to start working towards achieving it. The decision itself is the beginning of this, but the follow-through is committing yourself to a course of action.

You may have been in your current position for years and finally feel like it’s time to change.

Or you may have made a move that doesn’t feel right.

Either way, your life doesn’t have to feel this way. To make a life transition that’s capable of getting you out of the 9-5 grind and into a life of freedom, and transforming the way you feel, you need to gain momentum.

Momentum is what will take you from that first stage of deciding what you want, and committing to taking action, to actually realizing your dream career or life.

Follow these steps to start creating the momentum needed for your own transition...


Tip 1: Use Your Creativity

If you’re stuck in a 9-5 job and dreaming of a different way of working and living, the odds are what you’re considering doing is a big change.

This may just be in the place you work - doing roughly the same thing but from home and for yourself, rather than in an office for your boss.

But it could be something wildly different.

For me, it was shifting from the world of law to life as a coach.

Huuuuuuuge transition!

Look at it this way. Simply changing from one job to another, in which you do exactly the same thing, but for a new company, can be a big shift.

You don’t know the people, the business culture, their methods of doing things, or the rules. It can take a while to get into the swing of things, develop working relationships and friendships with people, and understand areas where you have room to be yourself, rather than rigidly sticking to the corporate game-plan.

Transitioning from a 9-5 to a job you have created for yourself is every bit as much of an upheaval as a simple job change would be, but it comes with a lot of other adjustments on top.

The odds are, one of the things motivating you to make the change is a desire to unleash your creative spirit. To break free from the somewhat analytical world of everyday work and embrace something a little more right-brained.

Even if your new career isn’t a creatively based enterprise, you’re still going to need to harness all the creative potential that has driven you to want this change in the first place.

By switching up your career path and transitioning out of the 9-5 environment you are literally thinking outside the box: the cubicle box, the office box, the corporate box.

Somewhere in there is a box, and you’re standing squarely outside it, looking back in and thinking something like, “I can’t stand it in there a second longer.”

Boxes, by their very nature, are stifling!

So the first thing to do to drum up a little momentum for your transition is to apply all your creativity and out-of-the-box-thinking to ensuring you aren’t accidentally trading one box for another.

Is the dream you have set upon genuinely following your passions, or have you curtailed it because your true dreams don’t feel like a viable career choice?

Because I’ve got news for you: everything is a potential career once you find the right way to look at it, and dedicate yourself to creating it!


Tip 2: Pinpoint Your Power

Everyone has a lot more power at their disposal than they realize. The block standing between you and seizing your power is probably really simple:

You’re not acknowledging it.

Often the things that make us most powerful are things we don’t consciously consider to be a form of power.

Power comes in many forms.

Intellectual power, creative power, bravery, tenacity, resilience…

There’s a deep well of untapped power and potential within you. All you have to do to unleash it is pinpoint exactly what form your unique brand of power takes.

When you do this, you will open your mind up to the transition before you, and find a way to lead yourself down the path that’s right for you.

Perhaps you’re exceptionally good at finding the heart of a problem quickly and really clearly defining it. Or maybe you’re a truly empathetic listener, able to put people at ease and ensure perfect efficiency.

Whatever your form of power is, don’t ignore it during this crucial transition. It will almost certainly play a big role in your new career, but it can be suuuuuper helpful in smoothing out the time before you fully step into your new role.

Uncover your gift and focus on it to help you improve upon and refine your vision for the path you're embarking on. Use it to fuel your motivation and keep that momentum going!

If you’re rooting around looking for your superpower and have no idea what it might be, try asking your family and friends. This is likely something that they are very aware of in you, and greatly appreciate about you, but have never actually verbalized because there was no real need.

People often assume we know our greatest strengths, because they seem too obvious when you’re viewing someone from the outside. It doesn’t occur to people we don’t know we’re amazing at a particular thing, because it seems so obvious to them!

Someone in your life will know what your unique brand of genius is, you just have to ask.


Tip 3: Thin-Slice

A common ‘tactic’ we use when we’re trying to deal with any transition is to wait to make changes. We feel we won’t be ready until we have accomplished a specific thing, got something we’re dreading out of the way, saved X amount of money, or otherwise done something fairly major.

It’s not unusual to fixate on a certain thing and believe its the one thing holding you back.

You can’t move forward until you’ve dealt with this huge, insurmountable obstacle.

For example, you’re lonely and desperate to find the love of your life, but rather than dating and putting yourself out there, you obsess over your diet.

You don’t feel you can find that special someone until you’ve lost X amount of weight.

Then you’ll be in ‘the perfect place’ for the transition into a life of love and happiness!

While you may be onto something in terms of your confidence increasing when you feel you are ‘ready’ for that big transition, the truth is that there is nothing stopping you from dating right now.

Career transitions are much the same. You’re embarking on a new relationship, with a new career and a new life, and you want to be at your best when you do it.

So you put it off, waiting until you’re ‘ready’.

This is really just a delay tactic you’re using to put off facing the upheaval that comes with the transition, and the various fears you have surrounding it.

If you feel like you’re not ‘ready’ to explore your passion and start making big steps towards that new career, start small.

Decide what matters to you and make space for a small part of it in your life.

Thin-slicing.

Slice the tasks that you want to take on in the teeniest-tiny chunks you possibly can. Then take them one thin-slice at a time.

Bonus point if you commit to doing a thin-slice task EVERY day. Extra bonus points if you do it before 10am. That way regardless of anything else that might happen in a day, you’ll know that you’ve taken action to move you closer to your goals.

Be sure to take the Focus Formula Quiz so you can learn which activities you should be focusing on first.


Tip 4: Take The First BIG Step

The more you work your way through those small things you feel ready for, the more you will realize that you really are READY.

Ready to kick it up and take the first BIG step in your transition.

For me, that step was spending time on the side of my 9-5 job, training with a coach of my own, and learning everything I needed to know to become a coach in my own right.

That was a big, huge, scary step. When I first thought about coaching, it felt like I really wasn’t ready for it, that there were a million things I needed to do before I’d be able to start a coaching business.

But after spending time doing small things I was ready for, like researching, following coaches I admired, thinking about the type of work I’d like to do, and how I could help people, I realised that huge big step of committing to a coaching course wasn’t nearly as massive as it first seemed.

I wasn’t giving up my job as a lawyer. I wasn’t burning any bridges or walking away from my 9-5.

I was simply dipping my toe in the water and seeing what it felt like.

There was no pressure to actually do anything with my new coaching skills once I achieved them. I knew that, if I decided it wasn’t for me, I wouldn’t have lost anything but a little time and the money I’d invested in the course.

And that was fine.

That was comfortable. Because my momentum had built enough through small actions to accommodate a bigger one.


Tip 5: Release Resistance

The funny thing is, once you start that momentum going it snowballs. The next step in your journey always seems a little easier than the last, until suddenly you’re quite comfortable with the idea of doing something that, a few weeks or months previously, filled you with dread.

That being said, it doesn’t matter how far you go on your journey, there is always the potential to encounter resistance.

All creatives are bound to experience resistance at one time or another. The point is to create anyway. If you want more support overcoming creative resistance, then check out my posts Create More: Tips for Entrepreneurs and 8 Reminders for Entrepreneurs Feeling Stuck.

One part of the climb is a little harder than expected, and you find yourself lagging. You’re struggling to move yourself any further forward, either because you’re tired, or fed up, or simply because you really don’t want to face the bit that comes next.

It’s really helpful to remember that, even when you’re fully committed to the road and have been traveling down it for a while, it’s never too late to turn back.

If you find it’s not for you, nothing is keeping you from pausing, shifting direction, or turning around and going right back to where you were.

The amount you will have learned along the way will ensure that, even if you end up back at square one, it will be with a much deeper understanding of yourself, and the path that might eventually lead you to that happiness you crave.

Remembering this makes it a lot easier to accept that resistance when you encounter it along the way. You’ll still feel it, because it’s there and there’s no avoiding it; you’ll have to face it eventually. But rather than having this massive pressure to ‘do or die’...to deal with it or fail completely, you know there’s a safety net.

Persevering is considerably easier when you have that safety net.

So take a moment, feel the resistance, acknowledge what it is and what it means to you, and then release it.

The more you’re able to let go of the thoughts and feelings making you resist, the easier it will be to find the path of least resistance.


And Finally…

Remember, you’re not in this alone. Help and support are there if you need it, and you’re in charge of the pace you set during this transition. And you don’t need to figure everything out immediately. You’re better off getting focused and taking massive action.

Not sure what you should be focusing on?

Be sure to take the Focus Formula Quiz so you can get your customized formula to lead you to business success.


Why The Hero's Journey Is The Key To A Successful Brand

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The digital marketing age has given rise to a booming online economy and created some of the fastest growing industries in the world. Coaching and entrepreneurship are increasingly common paths, and there has never been a better time to build your own business.

As awesome as that is, it comes with a built-in problem: standing out from the crowd, amid all that noise is seriously tough.

In order to distinguish yourself in the digital sphere, your brand needs to have one vital thing: meaning.

Searching for meaning in your brand is no easier than finding meaning in your life. But it doesn’t have to be so tough. In fact, it  can be suuuuuper simple.

You need a hero.

Or, more specifically, you need to make your client a hero...


Why Storytelling Is Vital For A Successful Brand

When the message of your brand lacks an underlying purpose, it’s really difficult to connect with your ideal clients. Connection is so important, and the best way to achieve it is to adopt your ideal client’s worldview.

You then need to infuse that viewpoint into your brand at every available opportunity. One great way to do this is through storytelling.

Anything said about you, your biz, and your brand, is essentially part of your story.

Given that most of these things will be said by other people (clients, prospects, readers, competitors, etc.) it can leave you without much control over your own narrative.

It’s up to you to take back control by creating a cohesive, memorable narrative that follows your script. One that represents your dream for your business, and aligns with the values and beliefs of your clients.

Storytelling is powerful in marketing because a story fully engages your brain, making you an active participant in the narrative, rather than a bystander observing something, or being told after the fact.

When you use stories in your brand, it draws people in and makes them a part of the narrative. Your narrative.

When it comes to storytelling and journeys, none is more powerful than The Hero’s Journey, because it is one that every single person instantly recognizes (consciously or otherwise), and connects to on a very deep level.

Stories speak to your ideal clients on a subconscious level through their emotional responses to your tale, and the images and symbols within it.

By developing a brand story that is interesting, unique, and authentic, you can connect with your ideal clients using a message that resonates with them.


What Is The Hero’s Journey?

The Hero’s Journey is a narrative pattern that was first identified by Joseph Campbell. It appears in many of the most popular TV shows, literary pieces, and movies, but it’s also found in the most ancient mythology, of every recorded culture the world over.

It’s a story that has been told in many different ways, featuring many different characters, in times, places, and cultures that span the globe, and yet the core of the story, the structure of it, remains the same.

Here are a few modern examples of The Hero’s Journey at work:

  • Star Wars

  • Toy Story

  • Lord of the Rings

  • The Wizard of Oz

  • Finding Nemo

  • The Lion King

  • Harry Potter

  • Legally Blonde

  • Shrek

Believe it or not, the basic story in all these stories is the same.

It follows a distinct path, with stages that are clearly laid out, in a specific order, each serving a vital function.

As we are led through The Hero’s Journey, we experience various emotional and psychological responses triggered by events in the narrative. These responses are predictable, and occur in all humans regardless of their personality types (the potential exception to this being those who have atypical brain function).

The Hero’s Journey really resonates because it’s designed to show a better version of ourselves, an improved version of our own lives, our own world, with a roadmap for exactly how we can achieve this for ourselves. It shows us that we all have more in common than we imagine, and can all achieve astounding things in the right circumstances.

It’s an empowering message, and if you can harness it as part of your branding, you’re well on your way to phenomenal success.

If you’re struggling to visualize the concept, here’s a great commercial from Visa that sums The Hero’s Journey up perfectly:


The Client’s Journey

Using The Hero’s Journey in your branding can be done in a few ways, but the best (and usually the easiest!) way is to tell a brand story in which your ideal client is the hero.

This will ensure your prospects connect with your brand, recognize the universal truths of your values (which are also their values!), and gain a sense of being a part of something bigger than themselves.

All of your clients have their own story.

They are in the process of becoming.

Exactly what they are becoming will vary greatly depending on your business, but all of them are seeking something. They are in a particular point or place in life, with a specific problem or issue that they need solving.

You are going to provide the solution, and in so doing allow them to transform, and move forward, into a better place.

Businesses that elevate their customers, and can support them in their transformations are particularly valued. They are also seen to hold strong meaning.

In short, it’s already all about the journey for your clients.

Making that journey The Hero’s Journey will not only strengthen your brand, it will improve their experience and the results they achieve through you and your business.

By transforming your client’s journey into a hero’s journey, you will speak to their hearts in a much deeper, more profound, and longer-lasting way.

Here’s another great example from Google:


Use A Story In Lieu Of An Elevator Pitch

You’re probably familiar with the concept of an ‘elevator pitch’ for your brand.

It’s a short, pithy, perfectly formed description of your business that can easily be delivered to someone in the space of an elevator ride.

In other words, when someone asks, “What do you do?” your elevator pitch provides the perfect answer.

It informs people of your industry, specialty, niche and expertise, as well as what makes you unique and different, and ideally why they should choose you over other people.

But it does it in a subtle way.

You don’t stick your hand out, wait for someone to shake it and say, “I’m a graphic designer, hire me!”

Coming up with the perfect elevator pitch for your brand can be really tough. The good news is that you can use a brand story instead.

Having a Hero’s Journey to tell people when they ask you that question is a super-simple way of tapping into people’s emotions, almost instantly, and forming a connection. It’s personal, relatable, interesting.

It will also make them curious.

The only thing we love more than a good story is a great sequel!


Stages Of The Hero’s Journey

The reason The Hero’s Journey is so effective in storytelling is that it’s instantly relatable. This is partly because so many stories familiar to us follow the same path, but largely because that path is frequently one we walk in reality.

We begin with an uneasy hero (our ideal client), who is either uncomfortable in their existence, or unaware of something about themselves or their situation that is profoundly important.

The audience can instantly identify with this state of unease.

The hero is pulled in different directions making them feel a lot of negativity, almost as if they have an illness, yet they remain stuck because change would push them outside their comfort zone.

It’s less painful to stay put than it is to try and find a better situation, even though the current situation is painful.

This starting point is essential as it defines the purpose of your story, and demonstrates that there is a reason for your hero-client to embark on their journey.

To figure out this part of the story, you need to know your ideal client:

  • Who are they?

  • Why are they frustrated?

  • What do they want?

N.B. to make this powerful and effective you should know your ideal client well — ideally, through market research.


The Call To Adventure

Having seen that something isn’t quite right with our hero, the stage has been set for some form of conflict (either internal or external), to compel your protagonist to make a change.

This is known as the ‘call to adventure’ and it can be literal or figurative:

  • Gandalf can turn up at your door with a troupe of dwarves and invite you on a quest.

  • Hagrid can arrive with a birthday cake and a letter from Hogwarts.

  • Your father could head south to be the new Hand of the King, leaving you alone with the step-mother who despises you, compelling you to join the Night’s Watch.

  • Your boyfriend could dump you for not being serious enough and head off to Harvard, spurring you to prove your intelligence and seriousness by getting into Harvard Law.

  • Or you could find yourself at an emotional rock-bottom, and realize that change is necessary if you ever want to be happy.

To figure out the best call to adventure for your brand story, you need to know three things about your ideal client:

  1. What will happen if they don’t answer the call and take action?

  2. What do they stand to lose by doing nothing?

  3. What do they stand to gain by taking that first step?


The Refusal Of The Call

This is perhaps the most relatable part of the whole of The Hero’s Journey.

Your protagonist is in an uncomfortable position, called to action, compelled to make a change (usually for deeply personal or practical reasons) and they resist.

They ignore the call, or out-right refuse it.

Why?

Because fear of the unknown is a very powerful force, and even though the current situation is bad, it feels better than stepping out into a situation that’s unfamiliar.

This part of the story forms an emotional bond with the audience as it invites them into the hero’s perspective, and allows them to really empathize with the situation. We’ve all felt paralyzed at some point by the fear of what will happen if we try to improve our situation, achieve something new, or gain more in life.

To devise this part of your story, ask yourself:

  • What has been holding my ideal client back?

  • What is still stopping them from taking action?


Crossing The Threshold

As the hero overcomes their fears and step out of their comfort zone, they cross a threshold of sorts and embark on their journey into the unknown. This can be a literal threshold, like their front door as they leave to go somewhere new, or a metaphorical one, such as accepting they can’t handle something alone, picking up the phone, as asking a friend for help.

Whatever form the threshold in your journey takes, it involves moving from the known into the unknown.

It is often accompanied by some form of peril - there are guardians watching your front door, and dealing with them is risky, or you are unsure how your friend will react to your admission of need and request for help, they might refuse.

The ‘danger’ however is a test of character, and provided you have the courage to continue forward it quickly fades into the background.

However, the life the hero knew previously has been disrupted.

Even if they were to return to the point at which they began, the experience has already changed them, so they would view the world differently.

They would no longer be able to ignore their unrest. This is important because it means they have no choice but to continue on in the hope of finding a solution to their problem, so they can eventually return and find themselves in a better situation.

For your ideal client the disruption that forces them across the threshold could be a number of things. Ask yourself:

  • What disruption in the market or your client’s life would need to happen in order for them to see that your work is urgent, relevant and needed?

  • What situation would pull the proverbial wool from their eyes and force them to confront reality?

  • How can you help them, providing the solution they need to find comfort and peace in life/work?


The Approach

This part of the story is usually where the hero encounters allies. Other individuals who join them on their quest, either because they are looking to achieve the same goal, or because they care about the hero and want them to succeed.

Essentially, this is where your client becomes part of your tribe, and encounters like-minded individuals who will support them in their efforts at transformation.

But while the camaraderie of this aspect of the story is positive and supportive, there is generally conflict during this phase.

After all, without conflict, there’s no story.

Your hero encounters obstacles that could prevent them from continuing on. This is often in the form of blocks they have that keep them from buying. What are the obstacles in your clients’ way, keeping them from signing up? Consider the following:

  • Are they stuck on the price?

  • Is your/their availability preventing them from taking action?

  • Are they still carrying some fear of the dreaded unknown?

  • Are they experiencing discouragement from others?


Meeting The Mentor

The mentor is a vital character in The Hero’s Journey. All the best heroes have one. Luke had Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda, Harry had Dumbledore, and Jon Snow had Lord Commander Mormont.

When your hero reaches the point of fully committing to the quest they will encounter their mentor, who will guide them (consciously or subconsciously, literally of figuratively) through the remainder of the journey.

Now that they have responded to the call, found their courage and continued on, overcoming obstacles and still persevering, your hero reaches a turning point. Forces align in their favor, and they find that, while there are still obstacles to overcome, they have the strength required to face them.

This may come from within themselves, but often comes from the allies they have met along the way, their mentor, or natural forces at work in the world (essentially mother nature).

This phase is all about tests, allies, and enemies.

The hero is tested and sorts out allegiances in the world outside their comfort zone. They adapt to the unfamiliar and gain the skills needed to move towards their goals.

Think of the training montage that is the staple of a lot of movies: Mulan, Rocky, and The Empire Strikes Back, to name but a few!

Your client enters this phase of the journey when they have bought from you and become your client.

You are the mentor!

You are Yoda!

Consider the following:

  • What’s the promise of working with you?

  • What are the emotional results of working with you?

  • What value do your clients receive?

  • What are your clients going to uplevel by working with you?


The Ordeal

There’s a moment in every Hero’s Journey when they are confronted by one of two ordeals: either death, or their worst fear.

It can be a physical, literal death (think Harry Potter and Jon Snow), or it can be a more spiritual death that sees the hero lay their old life/ways/habits/problems to rest.

Either way, the hero emerges from the ordeal resurrected and renewed. They have a moment of clarity, and rise to greet a new life.

Although this is a positive thing to go through, ensuring the hero finally gets to where they need to be, it can be quite traumatic.

Fear and death are hardly a picnic!

The ordeal separates the hero from their old world, self, or ways that were so familiar, and sets them on a new path.

Your hero needs to really dig deep to overcome this ordeal, and it’s often the thing that made them hesitate and refuse the call initially.

But once the ordeal is over, they begin their transformation. For your client, this is the point at which your help leads to the change they needed in life, or the solution they were so desperate to find.

Go back to answers you came up with when considering why they would resist the call. Consider the following:

  • What are their worst fears about working with you?

  • How can you demonstrate that - despite the fact they will be challenging - they can also be overcome?


The Reward

This phase sees the hero reap the rewards of their efforts. They have won something in the process of facing death, or their worst fear, and they carry that reward with them as they move forward.

It is at this point that the hero reflects, and concludes that, while difficult, the journey was well worth it, for they now have what they wanted/needed all along.

For your clients, this is the point where they give you glowing feedback, and bask in the wonder of what they have achieved with your help.


The Road Back

Every great adventure has two aspects: the journey there, and the road back. Generally speaking, we don’t see much of the journey home. Consider Lord of the Rings, which covers the journey to destroy the One Ring in immense detail, and the journey home as a brief aside.

Now in possession of the reward they sought, the hero can return, secure in the knowledge they are richer and stronger for the journey.

But the journey isn’t quite done yet, as the hero has to pass back across the threshold in order to return home. As with when they were leaving, there is usually an obstacle of some sort here, that can make it difficult for the hero to reintegrate.

After all, they are not the same person they were when they left.

But at the beginning of the story they were unhappy, conflicted with themselves and, despite being comfortable at home, didn’t really want to be there. The journey has honed your hero to the point they are able to find peace, either by settling back into their old life with a new perspective, or moving on to a new life.

Consider Marlin returning with Nemo and Dory to the reef, far more relaxed and content in life despite his worst fear having been realized - he lost his son, but found him again, and has made new friends and discovered new strength in the process.

Frodo returns to the Shire to discover he no longer fits into the world of hobbits, and elects to leave with the elves. His best friend, Sam, on the other hand, settles into a happy and contented life, finally confident and secure enough to win the love of his life.

The final test is reintegration: how will your hero use what they have learned?

For your client, this part of the journey is the bit you need to paint for them in technicolor throughout your marketing. THIS is what they sign up for. They may enjoy the journey, but it’s the payoff they’re really interested in.

  • What will their new life look like?

  • How will it be different?

  • Why will it be better?

  • What will it mean to them?


What’s Your Story?

There’s little I love more than a good story. Taking the time to figure out the Hero’s Journey of your brand is an amazing way to connect with your ideal clients, and create a successful brand. But often the best part about finding your story is getting to tell it! Pop a comment below and let me know the story of your clients’ journey…

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8 Mindset Tips: Get Whatever You Desire

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Where are you holding back your desires

Do you have everything you want in you life?
The work?
The money?
The relationship?
The home?

Do you even know what you truly want?

I keep hearing from women who respond to the question, “what do you really want/” by saying, “I don’t know.”

I don’t think that’s true. I think that you do know. Because you’re the only one who can know. Your desires were placed in our heart and they’re real and true for you, but you’re the only person who can know what they are.

Women keep from admitting what they truly want because of fear that they can’t have it. Fear that if they admit they truly want it, certainly to someone else, but even to other people, and they don’t get it, then they’ll be humiliated.  Seen as less-than. A failure.

But none of that’s true. It’s not how other people will see you. But even more importantly, that’s not what’s going to happen. If you admit what you truly desire, can align with it (meaning believe it’s possible), and take action that’s inspired by it, then it will happen.

If you don’t know that, you’re operating on a flawed premise about what’s possible for you when the truth is...


1 | KNOW YOU CAN BE, DO, OR HAVE WHATEVER YOU DESIRE

There is no universal decree stopping it.

The only thing standing in your way? The limitations you’ve created in your own mind.

The voice in your head telling you…
I’m not good enough…
I’m not smart enough…
I’m not worthy…
I don’t deserve…

All of those lies that our inner mean girl tells us. That we believe and that stops us dead in our tracks.

They are lies, but we don’t call them out.

Instead of stopping that voice and saying it’s not true we listen. We listen to  that and we act in accordance with it instead of what we should be doing…

Asking IS THAT TRUE?
...DOES IT SERVE ME TO THINK THAT?

If we did stop to ask if it’s truth or a story, we’d see that more often than not it’s a story. It’s a flawed premise. It’s just a lie that we’ve been telling ourselves since we were little.

We ALL have these stories that we create. Our success in life isn’t determined by having the stories or not but our willingness to recognize them for what they are. And then tell new stories.


2 | QUESTION THE STORIES WE ALL TELL

There are certain universal stories that we all tell.

Scarcity
...there’s not enough

Abandonment
...I’m unlovable

Humiliation
...if I ____ I’ll fail

Inferiority
...I’m not enough

These stories are sticky. And convincing. And seem so true and have become such a part of the collective unconscious, that for most, at least one is solidly ingrained before puberty.

But they’re not true. They were never true. If you can understand and know that on a deep, soul-level things will click into place.

**IF YOU KNEW THE LIMITATIONS YOU’VE CREATED BASED ON THE UNIVERSAL STORIES WE TELL WERE FALSE, WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE LOOK LIKE?**


3 | QUESTION THE STORIES YOU TELL

In addition to the stories that we all tell, we all tell stories about limitations that seem more personal. These could be based on experiences you’ve had that are not universal such as dysfunction in  your childhood home or events that were traumatic for you.

In what ways do you believe you are uniquely worse off than other humans?
What afflictions, disadvantages, limitations do you have that are uniquely you or limited to a group of people like you?

There is truth to the circumstances. But anything that happened in the past is just that — in the past.

**IF YOU KNEW THE LIMITATIONS YOU’VE CREATED BASED ON YOUR PAST WERE FALSE, WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE LOOK LIKE?**


4 | YOU DON’T NEED TO GET RID OF YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

...You need to learn to ignore them. What we focus on expands. If you can focus on what you want and what you’re creating instead of what you believe is holding you back, you can see your desires expands and your limitations shrink.

At first, you’ll have to more consciously ignore them. That’s why you’re taking the time to imagine what your world is like without those limiting beliefs.


5 | WRITE OUT WHAT YOU WANT

Just write out everything you want. In the present tense using word like I am. I have. I’m doing. Don’t limit yourself or censor yourself. Just get it all out.


6 | TAKE IT TO 212 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

Now that you’ve considered what your life would look like without limitations and have written down what you really want, turn it up. Stretch yourself.

Allow your desires to reach a boiling point because I know that what you’ve already written isn’t the full extent. You wrote that based on where you are. Where you’re still dealing with limitations. Release them all fully and get back to writing.


7 | LET IT CLICK IN TO PLACE

Read through everything you wrote and start to really feel it. Believe it. See it. Know that this is just s true as anything that happened in the past or anything else that will happen in the future.


8 | RINSE AND REPEAT

Do it again tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. Watch as things begin to unfold as you’ve written.

I completely believe in you. I had the universal limitations that we all all had and I had a TON of the unique beliefs. I went through stuff in my life that made me feel undeserving and unworthy of love, security, and wealth. But I’ve created a life that makes my heart sing and I’m just getting started. I know that if it’s possible for me, it's doubly possible for you.

CHEERS — to your life!

Xx,
Crystal

IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR THE DAY: You always get to make a decision.

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You may not have control over every circumstance in life, but you do have control over how you react to them. At any moment, you’re allowed to make a decision.

I reminded myself of that this morning when I woke up “on the wrong side of the bed.”

Not just because it was the wrong side of the bed, but because I had an intense conversation with my husband, Kobi, last night that got my emotions brewing. And even though it was with my husband, I still get what Brene Brown has termed “vulnerability hangovers.”

A vulnerability hangover is when you feel a sense of heaviness and malaise after sharing something about yourself in a deeply personal way, with a sort of uncomfortable vulnerability.

Last night, we went to a Chris Rock show where he spent time making jokes about his recent divorce. It was funny. But also really sad. As newlyweds, there’s something that strikes close to home listening to a recent divorcee discuss the changes that take place from the first years of marriage to the eventual decline. Especially since brand new marriages aren’t always easy to begin with.

This morning, I woke up with the unease of a hangover which my single beer at the show couldn’t have created.

I closed my eyes and woke up again, but the feeling remained.

In that moment, I had a decision to make: give into this feeling and spend the day in bed or get up, create, and serve.

In reading this blog, I’m sure you can assume the decision I made, but I don’t want you to breeze past it. It wasn’t the easy decision to make and it’s definitely not the direction I always decide to take.

But I CHOSE to remind myself of things I know…

IN ANY MOMENT YOU CAN MAKE A DECISION TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY.

Our feelings show up so quickly at times. They feel out of our control. Like something is happening to us.

Moreover, there are times that we find a sense of satisfaction in the negative feelings. Maybe not as a result of the discomfort of the feeling in itself (although for some that can be enough). But as a result of the unintended benefits of being sad. Or worried. Or victimized.

Perhaps the most common unintended benefit is the way others respond to you. Maybe you receive loving responses. Sympathy. Coddling. Softening.

Kobi is always an incredibly loving husband and nothing makes Kobi act more loving than seeing me sad. I would never purposely manipulate his feelings, but having him do what he can to care for me and cheer me up when I’m sad… well, it’s nice.

Some people may not have such loving partners. If that’s the case, and your partner turns into a  more gentle and loving person when you’re upset, it’s an even bigger benefit.

Another unintended benefit?

For many women who don’t allow themselves time to rest, it gives them permission to indulge in themselves. Like a woman experiencing a breakup, being fired, or taken advantage of, she’s allowed, and even expected, to self-comfort through lounging, eating, and TV binging.

The benefits may vary from person-to-person, but I’m sure you know what they are for you.

This morning, a part of me wanted to experience those two benefits mentioned above. But I reminded myself that I get to make that decision. Because yes, the results of sulking may feel nice to a certain extent, but they wouldn’t feel nearly as good as making a different decision.

A decision to feel better. A decision to shift my thoughts.

I could decide to release the vulnerability hangover
...and the conversation from the night before
...and the useless worries
and have control over my reaction.

While we always have control over our responses, it’s important to note the distinction between shifting my mindset and forcing my way through work that I just wasn’t inspired to do. It’s not about saying that someone who is depressed just needs to think better thoughts. It’s about making a decision to align myself and take action because, ultimately, that’s what I wanted.

Of course there are times when the best thing you can do is to rest and indulge. But I knew that’s not what I needed. I knew that it wouldn’t serve me in this state.

So… I made a decision to get up. And journal, and read, and meditate. And as I did those things, I felt the cloud lift and the inspiration to write again hit.

Then I was reminded: YOU CAN BE, DO, OR HAVE WHATEVER YOU DESIRE.

It’s always fun to think this way, but I really do believe it’s true. Just thinking about it makes me want to move.

Often, when we feel down, it’s because we want to change something about our circumstances. We can’t control our circumstances at all times, but we can control our responses. Which as a result, may change our circumstances over time. It just might not be as immediate as the changes we can make in our emotional state.

Recognizing that I can be, do, or have whatever I desire also reminds me that I often put too much pressure on the timing of things. Whatever I’m wanting… I want it to happen immediately.

It’s an easy trap to fall into: wanting to make things happen. Rather than trusting that everything is unfolding as it’s meant to. I can do my part and that is all.

Things are always working out for you.

Xx,
Crystal

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8 Reminders for Entrepreneurs Feeling Stuck

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As I sat down to write this, I encountered a feeling that I’ve had before. It’s never welcome, despite it’s familiarity.

Feeling stuck. Also known as resistance.

I wanted to just say “forget it” for today.
I wanted to go take a nap.
I wanted to give up.

But then I realized that feeling of wanting was my ego -- that wasn’t the desire of my heart.

My heart wants to create. It wants to follow commitments.

I decide to write Sunday - Thursday every day for the next 3 months. I was inspired after re-reading The Art of War the importance of showing up as a professional. Only 20 days in and I already wanted to quit. And then I reminded myself of a few important things and I want to share those reminders with you....


1. ALL THE CREATIVITY YOU WILL EVER NEED IS INSIDE YOU

This isn’t to say all the creativity you will ever have is already there, but it all comes from within.

Of course we can find inspiration outside of ourselves. But the creativity isn’t coming from outside of ourselves.Humans are infinitely creative beings. It may be the thing that most separates us from other animals.

People sometimes experience a fear around their creativity. A fear that if they create and produce eventually it will just dry up, but it’s not the way of creativity works. As we experience flow and creativity and inspiration we create. Once that has been created we expand. More creativity then flows. It’s continuous and there’s no need to fear or worry that it will cease.


2. RESISTANCE IS UNIVERSAL

Reminding myself that I’m not the only one grappling with resistance is comforting.

In creative online work it’s easy to feel isolated.

As if you're the only one…

...not being as productive as you want
...not creating as much as you want
...not making as much money
...feeling stuck.

Remembering that others, even people who seems like content machines, get stuck. This knowledge is reassuring.  People who are great have also had moments of self doubt and questioning themselves.

The difference between those people and others is that they don’t allow it to define them. They recognize it for what it is -- an insidious, real, but passing sensation, and move through it.

They show up anyway.

They create anyway.


3. FEAR IS UNIVERSAL

Like resistance, fear is universal.

We all experience it.
It’s the same for all of us.
It varies little.
It doesn’t serve us.
It’s boring.

However, it does allow us to develop what is sure to serve us regardless of what we do -- courage.

Courage is one of the most valuable traits anyone can possess because it allows us to stretch beyond ourselves. Developing courage allows us not only to overcome circumstances we didn’t necessarily think we could, but allows us to see ourselves differently.

When we define ourselves by lack, we see more lack. We contract. We play small and that doesn’t serve us or the world.

When we are willing to practice courage, it expands how we see ourselves. A shift in perspective about yourself can jolt you out of your stuckness and into a dimension where so much more is possible. Where grace, ease, flow, and fun are the norm.

Fear is universal, but also learned. The only two fears we’re born with are of loud noises and falling. The myriad other fears we develop along the way: fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of being seen, fear of being invisible...

We learn them along our path, but we can unlearn them if we’re willing.


4. FEELINGS ARE MEANT TO BE FELT

Fear and resistance and all the other negative feelings around our creation are just that -- feelings. Not to say feelings are insignificant, because they’re not. But they’re just meant to be felt.

We resist our negative emotions.
It feels uncomfortable.
We don’t think we should be feeling them.

In the resistance they become stronger and more real.

When we’re willing to feel our emotions they dissipate.

When we feel something we try to push it down. Deny it. Hide from it. Keep ourselves so busy that we can’t really feel it.

If we slow down. Allow it. Welcome it. Accept it and all other parts of ourselves, the discomfort starts to melt away.

You have to try it to understand the power of this.


5. THIN SLICE

Thin slice the actions you need to take into the smallest possible step.  Make it such a tiny step that you’re easily able to take the action.

That counts as progress.

Then take the next teeny tiny step.

This is the way to create whatever you want. We have huge beautiful visions of what we want, but we’re so far away that we don’t even want to try. But that’s like wanting to be in California when you’re in New York and being so mad that you’re not in California that you won’t book a flight. Or rent a car. Or arrange whatever other transportation you fancy to take the trip.

You can get wherever you desire in life. But you have to start where you are with what you have.


6. TAKE ACTION BASED ON HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL, NOT HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL

If you don’t ever feel like doing anything.
And you only act when you feel like it.
Then you’re not going to get in motion.
Its physics - an object at rest stays at rest.

If you can thin slice and then be willing to take that teeny tiny action based on how you want to feel -- not based on how you’re feeling now, you can eventually move mountains.


7. CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES

Celebrate your successes. No matter how small

Our desires are constantly expanding. They’ll always expand so long as we’re alive. That is a beautiful thing about being a soul in a human body. But take the time to celebrate the wins you experience.

Without acknowledging your successes, celebrating your successes, and feeling gratitude for your successes, joy and happiness will constantly elude you. Regardless of the material success you achieve.

Slowing down. Celebrating. Recognizing yourself and what you’ve done is the key to enjoying your progress.


8. REST, DON’T QUIT

And when you get tired -- learn to rest, not quit.

We’re all tired sometimes. It’s part of the human state.

The natural inclination is to give up.
We think we’re doing something wrong.
That we’re not on the right path.

But you’re always on the right path. You’re doing the right thing at this moment. And if in the next moment you want something different, you’re allowed to do that.

I believe in you. I know magic is available for you.

Go do the work you’re meant to do. I’ll be over here cheering for you!

Xx,
Crystal

9 Small Shifts to Create the Business and Life You Want (My personal reminders and commitments for 2018 and beyond)

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1 | BE PRODUCTIVE

Schedule out your days, weeks, and months. You don’t have to, of course, but people who are doing this are getting further ahead.

Many new entrepreneurs are thrilled to be working on their business full-time, and they immediately adopt the entrepreneurial lifestyle featured on Insta and Pinterest.

But if you want your business to work (and work well), then as you’re building, treat it like a job. Show up. Know what you need to do. Do what you need to do.

Of course, some entrepreneurs, do make multi-6 and 7-figure amounts of money while “doing nothing,” but notice what their “nothing” actually is.  They’re still creating, sharing, connecting, and serving an audience. You haven’t seen what it took for them to reach the point where all they have to do is post a blog once a week, do a live stream every few days, or make a FB post and then lean back and wait to rake in the dough.

Download my Goal Setting Roadmap now, to nix overwhelm, get crystal clarity and be more productive. 


2 | PLAN FOR THE PRESENT

Have a vision for what you’re creating, but keep your planning focused more immediately. If you’re planning for five years down the line, you’re not going to be able to maintain the motivation and enthusiasm.

Research shows that 90 days is about the length of our mental horizon. So keep your focus there. Do you more in-depth planning for the 30 days ahead of you.

Set markers that are achievable ‘cause it helps maintain your momentum when you…


3 | LEVERAGE BASIC MOTIVATION

Humans are motivated by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure.

We are more motivated by the avoidance of pain. But if you celebrate yourself, the burst of pleasure that comes from reward in enough to motivate you as you gain momentum.

If you only get pleasure from the big goals, you reach you’ll lose momentum before you hit those markers. You’ll move back into the place where you’re only motivated when the pain is severe enough.


4 | PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Gratitude not only feels good, but it also gets you to focus on what’s going the way you want instead of what you want that you don’t yet have.

More importantly, gratitude is a potent reminder of how powerful you are. Gratitude allows you to recognize that there was something you didn’t have in your life experience, that you wanted, that you were then able to create and receive into your experience. That’s a mighty thing you’ve done. And you can do it again for whatever else you want.


5 | ENJOY THE BUILDING

Part of being a human is that our desires are going to expand continually. Once we reach the goal we’ve been working on, we want something else. We THINK we want to just “get there,” but that would quickly grow dull.

...And since there’s no “there” to get to, it will serve you to enjoy the process of what you’re building.

Enjoy the creation.

Enjoy the building.

Enjoy the work.

If you can’t ever enjoy the process, you’ll invariably find yourself pushing up against frustration and disappointment.


6 | KNOW THAT WHAT YOU WANT EXISTS

Know that what you want exists. You just can’t see it yet.

In the summer of 2016 I attended a business seminar focused on mindset. I stood up in a room of over 300 entrepreneurs and talked about what I most desired and how devastating it felt that I didn’t have it yet. How unfair it seemed that I couldn’t find love.

The leader looked me in my watery eyes and told me, “it’s here. You just can’t see it.” I looked around the room thinking maybe he had met someone who he thought would be good for me…

It was confusing, but it snapped me out of the story that I didn’t have it. I started thinking, “it’s here, I just don’t see it.”

It was less than a month later that I met my husband.

It existed I just kept telling the story that I didn’t have love, which kept it out.

Whatever you want is already available to you, but you’re too busy focusing on the way things are. What’s right in front of you.

What you focus on expands so as you’re focusing on how things are, how they’re not what you want, that becomes all you can see and you push away what you most desire.

Start recognizing that what you want exists. You just can’t see it yet.


7 | APPLY THE 80/20 RULE TO CREATION V. CONSUMPTION

When you’re ready to scale your business to 6-figures+ be sure to spend 80% of your time creating and 20% of your time-consuming. That means you’ll be producing 4-5x what you consume. Fewer courses. Fewer masterminds. Fewer books. Fewer trainings.

When we start our businesses, it’s natural to want to consume. At least it was for me. I mean I had spent four years in college, three years in law school, and 1,000+ hours preparing for the CA bar, so I wanted to acquire at least that much education for my business…

It makes sense but not how entrepreneurship works. Master your craft. Study and learn, but also implement. You’re never going to stop learning in your business so let go of the idea that you need to know everything even before you start.

Which is a perfect segue into the next point…


8 | YOU’RE NOT A VICTIM OF THE FACEBOOK FEED

Or Insta feed

Or Pinterest

Or any other network that allows for endless scrolling. We feel bombarded.

...So create white space for yourself.

You can curate the feed and be intentional about the content you consume.

If there’s a group you find valuable and want to see posts for, then follow it. Unfollow the rest. You can still stay in the group, and if you think about it and decide to mozy over to the actual group, all the posts will still be there.

Choose 5-10 people whose content serves you. The rest you can unfollow and remain friends.


8| RECOGNIZE THE VALUE OF YOUR WORK

See your work as of high service. You need to recognize your value, even before others widely recognize it.  That doesn’t mean you have to be anyone’s guru or that you have to lie or position yourself falsely. Just see that what you do is of value. If you have a desire to help or serve people, that’s good enough to start.

Grow and get better at it, but realize there is someone 1 or 2 steps behind you who will benefit immensely from your teaching and service.


9 | BE A GREAT STUDENT

Be a great student to become a better leader. And being a great student isn’t the same as consuming massive amounts of information all the time. (See 7)

Being an excellent student means you study, implement, and embody what you learn. That makes you a better student than the person reading two books every week who can’t explain any of the concepts in a clear and succinct way. And who certainly haven’t applied anything learned.

Spend at least 1 hour per day learning.

You can be, do, or have whatever you desire. These are a few small shifts you can make to get you moving in that direction.

My life and business have become more than I ever thought possible for me. If I can do this, than you DEFINITELY can.

I believe magic is possible for you.

I’ll be over here cheering you on!

Want help with any of this? Click here to work with me!

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"I'm Such an Eff-Up" 7 Lessons I Learned from a Big Mistake

I am so ashamed of how badly I effed up.

“I am a horrible person and a horrible coach, of course, I don’t deserve a business that goes well. “
“I’ve ruined everything — how could I be so stupid?”
“I’m such an F-up. I just can’t believe myself.”

This was the thought process after I took one of the most significant missteps of my career.

One of my clients was telling me how much our work together was changing her life. That she would love to help me because of all I’d done for her — was there anything she could do?

I told her the truth — “all those lovely things you just said about me would be great in a testimonial.”  

End of conversation.

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She did write me a beautiful and glowing testimonial all about the transformation and results she experienced in her life and business from our work together.

So, what’s the issue?  

No, she didn’t change her testimonial saying I had pressured her to write it.
No, she didn’t lie and make up results that weren’t true.
No, I didn’t do any of the other things you’re imagining…

I made the mistake already. In the comment about testimonials being valuable in my business.  

This particular woman was a client who another coach referred to me.  
A coach who had been my coach and mentor.
A coach who I adored, admired, and respected immensely.

This coach — when we finished our coaching relationship asked me if I’d be open to taking referrals from her. She was up-leveling her business with a focus on group programs and courses and didn’t have time for all the one-on-one inquiries she received.

I was ecstatic! This was at the beginning of my coaching career, and my lead flow was *ahem* not at the same level as hers.

It seemed like the perfect situation.

(Narrator voice over: “It was NOT the perfect situation.”)

But I signed on the dotted line. Amongst other things, I legally agreed not to ask any of the clients that I served, that she referred, for testimonials.

And then I did the thing I said I wouldn’t do.
And it caught up to me fast.
Three days after I’d spoken to the client, she posted her review on a review site.
Later that day, I got a call from my former coach and mentor.

She said that her team saw a “flood of reviews” come in from clients that she had referred me.

She told me that when her team told her this, her response was, “No, I don’t believe it! I know that Crystal wouldn’t do anything like that. She wouldn’t tear other people down so that she could get ahead. I can’t imagine her trying to destroy my business as she works her way to the top.”

Her words burned my chest, and I felt a sting as tears sprang to my eyes. Even writing it several years after the fact brings a dark, dense, lump into my chest that I paused my writing to feel.

This wasn’t just any person saying this words. This was a woman who I felt deeply connected to…

...who I respected
...who I admired
...who I loved

Whose relationship was incredibly valuable and meaningful to me. I was concerned less about the money and our contractual agreement, but about potentially losing this relationship that felt sacred to me.  I mean, coaching relationships, ARE sacred and this had been my first one. I had shared things with this woman that no one else in my life had ever heard.

And she was telling me that she saw me as a backstabber. An ungrateful, sneaky, climber who would do what it takes to excel.

That was painful.

But what was worse was when I allowed myself to believe it.
It’s like I thought I knew who I was…
I thought I was a kind, smart, loving, caring person.
Ambitious? Yes.
Determined? Yes.
Hard-working? Often enough.
Disloyal? Uhh, not generally.
Untrustworthy? I mean, I don’t think so.
Unkind, ungrateful, deceitful, sneaky backstabbing climber? Well, I never thought of it that way, but maybe.
That was the story I began telling about myself. Because that was what I perceived from this woman I so admired. But what I know now is…


1 | YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE TO BE YOUR SAVIOR

I hired this woman initially as my coach and paid her around $7,000 and was determined to get the most out of the experience. I took a lot of action. I did exactly what she told me. I started seeing results immediately. I was excited to see my fledgling business stand on its wobbly new legs.

Yes, her guidance was tremendously valuable.  I LOVED having her as my coach. But I attributed ALL my success to her.

When we finished our coaching relationship and she talked about sending me leads, I felt like this was exactly what I needed. That this would “save me.”

But I didn’t need any saving.

And what I *actually* needed was to keep doing the work I had started and focus on building my own business.

Regardless, I don’t know if she even thought about it after it happened. But I did. And I kept telling myself the story I created based on what I imagined she felt about me…


2 | FORGIVE YOURSELF

I was punishing myself long after we ended the contractual relationship and I stopped getting leads. I was maybe more pissed at me than she was. I was saying these horrible things about myself, even as the other people around me were reflecting that I was not a bad person.

But here’s where the rubber meets the road…

I’ve read The Four Agreements
I’m a lawyer and now coach
I put a ton of value on my trustworthiness and integrity.
And then I did an action that was out of integrity.

So I punished myself harshly…
...any challenges I had in business I chalked up to not being worthy or deserving of a well-working successful business because I’m an untrustworthy person without integrity
...I kept myself small for fear that I would come on her radar and she would have venomous hatred towards me
...I connected with fewer people within my industry in case they knew her and she felt inclined to tell them to stay away from me because I’m a horrible person

I could go on, but you get the idea.

It’s worth noting, as far as I know, this woman is a kind and respectful person and would never intentionally hurt someone else or their business.

I’m projecting my guilt, shame, and worst fears onto her.

Which doesn’t serve me. What I needed was to extend forgiveness to myself. We all deserve at least that.

I’ll never know if the thoughts I've attributed to her are real or not and the truth of the matter is it doesn’t matter because it’s not my business.


3 | IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHAT SOMEONE ELSE THINKS OF YOU

The truth or falseness of the story I created in my mind about her is irrelevant and as Byron Katie says, none of my business.

Katie says there are three types of business in the world.

First, there’s G-d or the Universe’s business. This is natural disasters, hurricanes, tornadoes, forest fires, earthquakes, wars, etc. Things that are out of the control of any one individual. That’s G-d’s business and we’d do best to keep our noses out of it.

Then there’s other people’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions, behaviors, words, etc. That’s their business, and not ours.

Then there’s our own business. Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. That’s where you need to keep your energy and attention. ‘Cause much of the individual suffering we experience comes from being in someone else’s business. Plus, when you’re in someone else’s business, there’s no one to be in your business and running your life.

I was causing myself so much suffering by holding onto all this stuff.
I hadn’t intentionally done anything.
I did what humans do.
I made a mistake.


4 | YOU’RE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES

I’m a human. If you’re reading this, you’re a human. And as humans, we’re allowed to make mistakes. We aren’t required to be perfect.

As someone who is actively *overcoming* perfectionism...well...I’m struggling to understand that perfectly.
Some mistakes are bigger than others and will have much further reaching consequences. But you’re still allowed.

I really made two mistakes in this story — of course, going against the contract, but also agreeing to the contract in the first place.


5 | DON’T SIGN SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH

If you sign a contract, abide by it.
If you don’t want to abide by it, you’re not in alignment with it.
If you’re not in alignment with it, don’t sign it.

There is always another opportunity available to you. There is more coming to you. If you want something, then you receive something that’s close, but not quite it.

It’s ok to say, “close, but not quite. I’ll wait.”


6 | HAVE ANOTHER LAWYER LOOK OVER YOUR CONTRACT.

If you're aligned with an opportunity that requires a contract, have a lawyer (other than yourself) look it over, and listen to them. I had to make that caveat for those of you who are lawyers.
‘Cause I am a lawyer.
But it’s not enough for me to look over my contracts.
There’s no objectivity.

If I were advising someone else on the contract and she had the concerns that I did I would have told her, “don’t you dare sign that without some changes.”


7 | LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER. AND YOUR MOTHER.

Now, I did seek out another lawyer. My mother.
She looked over the contract.
She told me, “don’t you dare sign without changes.”

I didn’t listen to her.

I wanted it to work. I needed it to work. I felt it was the only way for me to get what I wanted.

Also known as scarcity mindset.


8 | DON’T MAKE DECISIONS FROM A PLACE OF SCARCITY

Fear and scarcity can block your best judgment. If I had been operating from the state that’s most natural to all of us — open to and recognizing the abundance that’s always available, I wouldn’t have signed the contract as it was.

I would have told my mentor, whom I adored, that I didn’t think the arrangement was best for both of us...
I would have recognized that I have infinite creativity and capability needed to build a biz...
I would have known that I can be, do, or have whatever I want without compromising my alignment or integrity…

But coulda, woulda, shouldas are wasted energy. Because everything is happening in our lives as it’s supposed to. I created this experience, as did she.

Do your best Forgive yourself for being. That’s all you can do.

Onward and upward — I know magic is available for you.

Let me know in the comments if this resonates. Have you ever made a mistake in your biz? How did you deal with it?

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Are You Working Too Hard to Change Your Business Mindset?

As more entrepreneurs become aware of the importance of mindset to success. And release. the idea of hustling for the sake of hustling. There’s been a bit of a mix up.

Now you’re working too hard on your mindset instead of working on the action steps.

We’re all constantly seeking balance. Balancing career and family. Balancing work and leisure. Balancing mindset and action.

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But balance isn’t really a thing. Gary Keller’s book The One Thing digs deep into this concept:

A balanced life’ is a myth — a misleading concept most accept as a worthy and attainable goal without ever stopping to truly consider it...if you think of balance as the middle, then out of balance is when you’re away from it. Get too far away from the middle and you’re living at extremes. The problem with living in the middle is that it prevents you from making extraordinary time commitments to anything. In your effort to attend to all things, everything gets short changed and nothing gets its due….Extraordinary results are achieved by this negotiations with your time.

The antidote to this idea of balance, which is really just an idea, not a way of life, is counterbalance. Meaning allow yourself to the extremes where your focus, time, and energy is at an extreme. And then reign it in and come back to the middle ground.

I went through a while back after I hit an “upper limit”  in my business. I was growing my business — working hard and making a ton of money. But I wasn’t doing the mindset piece. I was just hustling for the sake of hustling and I lost all enjoyment, flow, and alignment in my work.

Now, I do put in a lot of work and I ensure that my mindset is fully aligned with that. And that’s the sweet spot in terms of my business growth (and enjoyment).

But for awhile there, I did what so many do, and I swang pretty far in the other direction and hit an extreme where all the work I was doing in my business was mindset work.

It seemed to be working. I definitely started feeling better. But my business still wasn’t moving forward because I was missing the all important element: action.


1. Action is what brings your mindset work into the real world -- it’s the gateway for the work you’ve done internally to manifest

Mindset work isn’t easy, per se. But for someone who wants to be lazy, it’s certainly easier than taking action.

Mindset work can easily be done by yourself, on your couch or snuggled up in your bed.
It doesn’t require you to create.
It doesn’t require you put yourself out there.
It doesn’t require you serve people.

You focus on yourself and your past, present, and future. If you’ll allow it, it can become indulgent.

But it can also provide massive transformation.

But not without action.

All the mindset work that you do can’t be made real until you take action on it.

Action doesn’t mean hustling all day and night. I mean really, if you’re doing the deep transformative mindset work then the action that you do will start getting easier. Should allow some more fun and flow back into it because you’ll have cleared and released some of the biggest obstacles in your way, rather than pushed through them.

‘Cause yes, everything starts with your mindset.  But it all has to work together.

Here’s why working on your mindset is powerful…

Your beliefs create your thoughts. Your thoughts lead to your actions. Your actions create your results. Based on your results, you create new beliefs.

It’s a cycle. Your beliefs lead to your thoughts, your thoughts create your actions. Your actions lead to your results. As you experience different results in your life and business, you begin forming new beliefs.

Mindset work is powerful because it allows you to change your beliefs, but if you keep changing your beliefs and your thoughts. And then change more beliefs and thoughts. And then stay focused on your beliefs and thoughts, your action and results are out of the loop (literally) and stay totally the same.

The other problem with this loop is that if you’re only looking for blocks, you’ll find more blocks. If you start to feel as if you must clear all blocks before you can take action. You could work on your mindset forever without taking any action.  It’s the equivalent of constantly consuming and feeling as if you need one more course (I’ve said before I’m a total course-whore so I’m totally guilty of this), one more freebie, one more fill-in-the-blank before you’re ready to take action.

It feels like you’re never at a point when you’re done. And with mindset work, you’re not really done. But you have to take action anyway.

Otherwise...


2. Your insistence that you have mindset blocks or money blocks can turn into a block itself

If you reach a point where you feel like, “I have to clear one more block and then I’ll be ready to take action,” then you know that the idea of blocks has become a block.

When we start telling ourselves that there’s something we need to do, be, or have that varies from our current circumstances before we can be, do, or have some other thing then we’re making up excuses to delay action.

Todd Hermann, a high performance coach, says we need to “release the idea of perfect action.”  We also need to release the idea of perfect mindset.

For many people who make personal growth, development, or mindset work a part of their life and business, then it’s going to be a continuous aspect of their life. It’s not something that you spend one month on and then never return to again. As you move into new levels of growth and success, you’re going to return to it. As David Neagle, a success mentor, says, “new level, new devil.”

And that’s normal. It’s totally fine, but that means that you do some of the mindset work. Take action. Assess where you are and keep moving.

If we think that we can’t move forward until all our mindset blocks are cleared. Welp, we’ll never take action again ‘cause we’ll be too busy working hard on our mindset.

Whereas, you’re better off if you...


3.  Work easy on your mindset. Work hard on your action.

We don’t have to work hard on our mindset. The mindset work should feel easy.

If the work you’re doing on your mindset is feeling hard. If you feel stressed and tense and your shoulders up to your ears then you’re making it harder than it needs to be. Let your mindset work be easy for you, just let it flow.

Many of the type A entrepreneurs I meet and work with (and am) get a certain kind of satisfaction from hustling hard.

For me it takes me back to my college days at Claremont Mckenna where I’d pull all-nighters. When I’d take a break from my studying around 10pm because I knew that there were hours upon hours of studying left. Or when I was studying for the California bar and I wouldn’t move my tush from the chair in the back corner of the library for 6 hours at a time.

It felt satisfying. Like I was really accomplishing something.

So when I start working on my business or doing my mindset work, I felt that same focus there. Where I’m really digging in and deep and it’s feeling intense.

But your work on your mindset doesn’t have to be so hard to be transformational ‘cause you can shift in a moment.

Clearing your mindset blocks is just about recognizing an obstacle as self-imposed and letting it go.

We all have fears, and doubts, and limiting beliefs. But while they’re sitting in our heads, they can feel more real and solid than the computer screen in front of you. The shift — releasing the belief — is just about recognizing what’s true.

Depending on you. Your experiences. The way you view your obstacles. Each shift can be easy or hard.

But overall you can let it be easy.

For many people, the easiest way of up-leveling their mindset is going to be by sort of digging in, doing an excavation, seeing what’s there in terms of their thoughts and beliefs and clearing the big stuff out. I have a free workbook you can download here that will help you do just that.

However, it doesn’t always need to be so in depth ‘cause sometimes you can just change your thoughts.

You can just stop thinking or believing something and that’s enough. And that doesn’t necessarily take work if you’re adept at shifting your focus.

Because a belief is only a thought you’ve thought a lot. If you’re able to quickly start thinking and believing something which makes the obstacle you’ve created in your mind moot. Well then, that’s just as good.

For people who like or thrive on that feeling of working hard, it may not be so immediate to just switch to this place where you’ll allow it to be easy.

The sweet spot then is to dig in first and then let it be easy. You’re tricking your mind a bit. If you spend 3-4 hours working on your mindset. Then you can sort of tell yourself the rest is just maintenance. Now the only “work” is letting it be easy and shifting your thoughts and focus.


4.  Mindset is a priority in your week

If you’re prioritizing your months, weeks, and days. (And I hope you are). Then mindset should be treated as a priority. Make sure that you schedule in time to work on your mindset.: to see where you’re holding yourself back. Where you’re creating obstacles for yourself.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to...

SEE WHERE YOUR MINDSET BLOCKS STILL EXIST WHEN YOU SET YOUR GOALS

One of the easiest way to discover where your mindset has room for growth is when you set your goals for the quarter, month, week, etc.

Set goals that are “realistic” but a stretch. As Michelangelo said, “the greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” You may experience some doubt or resistance when setting stretch goals. This is a good clue to where you still have some work to do.

Once you look at your goals, you can just ask yourself: “why don’t I think this is possible for me?

You ask it as a why because it’s going to force your mind to seek an answer. If you just ask “do I think it’s possible” you’re right away going to say “yes, I think it’s possible” and be able to skip over it.

Another question y to ask yourself is, “why wouldn’t _____ think this is possible for me?

Fill in the blank with someone who you feel is critical of you.

This is an insightful exercise because if this is a new goal then you have no actual way of knowing what anyone else would think or say about it. (Especially since we can never truly know what another person is thinking regardless of what they might have to say.)

That means that any thoughts that come up are a projection. You are projecting a thought you have onto that other person — you’re imagining that that thought would come from them, but in truth, it’s coming from your own mind.

Voila.

More beliefs for you to clean up.

Your mindset work may never be done, but that doesn’t mean it has to be hard. People love setting goals at the beginning of the year. Why not make sure you actually achieve them by clearing out the (mental) obstacles, taking action, and allow your mindset work to be easy.

If you want to dig in and pull up more of the beliefs that are holding you back download the money mindset workbook and get started.

>> Get my workbook <<

5 Tips for Entrepreneurs to Set Goals They Actually Achieve

It’s the beginning of the New Year so everyone has resolutions and goals on their mind.

And the obsession is understandable — going back to the beginning of time. Well, not the beginning, but 4,000 years and the Baylonions. But at this point, we all know that New Year Resolutions don’t work so as far as I can tell, very few people actually still set them.  

But goals? We still love ‘em.

As I’m writing this it’s January 2, 2018. That means that for some people who haven’t yet set their goals for 2018 yet, they’re feeling behind already. There’s such a mad craze at the end of the year to set goals, but many are setting themselves up for failure even in the way they approach goal setting.

Here are 5 tips for entrepreneur to set goals they achieve.

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Tip #1: Create a vision

So what’s the difference between vision and goals?

Vision is much broader and more all encompassing than goals. Vision is what you’re moving towards.

Jordan Belefort (Wolf of Wall Street) explains, “...your vision for the future serves as a specific target to aim for, but also, without a compelling vision for your future, it is almost impossible to maintain the self-motivation, emotional fortitude, and necessary stick-to-itiveness to break through all the barriers and obstacles that tend to pop up unexpectedly and stand between you and the life of your dreams.”

And it is beautiful and important to have a vision because it keeps you moving forward.

My friend and brilliant coach Alionka shared such a perfect story to explain the importance of vision.

She described a story about a little girl who was going to the park with her father one day. The park was about a 45 minute walk from their home and was her favorite place to go so she was ecstatic when they first made the plan. They had off to the park and she gets tired (as little kids do when walking long distances) and wants to turn around.

The girl doesn’t remember where she’s going so it doesn’t seem worth it. Her father reminds her that they’re going to the park -- when she remembers where she’s going she’s again excited and they merrily continue on their journey.

After another 15 minutes or so she again feel defeated and tired and doesn’t want to continue. This time her father lifts her up on his shoulders so she can see the park. She’s again re-invigorated and she continues and they make it to the park.

Adults are like that too. We start off with great enthusiasm and then we lose our steam and excitement. We just don’t want to continue because we don’t really remember where we’re going. Our vision allows us to again see where we’re going and can put the pep back in our step when we feel like we’re far off.

Take the time to write out your vision in depth -- get all of the details clear so that you can take a look at it when you’re moving off track or losing your excitement for it. Create your vision for both 1-3 years out.

Using an exercise called Vivid Vision is especially helpful when creating your vision for three years out. Vivid Vision is a written document that’s several pages long describing in detail what your business will look like. Imagine yourself in your business three years down the line and answer the following questions:

  • What do you see?

  • What do you hear?

  • What are clients saying?

  • What does the media write about you?

  • What is the buzz about you in your community?

  • What is your marketing like? Are you marketing your good/services globally now? Are you launching new ads?

  • How is the business running day to day? Is it organized and running like a swiss clock?

  • building

  • What do the business’ financials reveal?

  • How are you core values being expressed and used?

The Vivid Vision exercise is valuable because it’s 3 years out. Bill Gates say that, “most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” But the same could be said for three years.

If you’d like to take it a step further and put it deeper into your mind so it seems more real, here’s a powerful meditation from Vishen Lakhiani of Mindvally.

Your vision can also encompass all areas of your life. If you’re anything like me, then your business is a part of your life, but it’s not your entire life so be sure to include how the other aspects of your life fit in with your vision. Buuuuut, that doesn’t mean you need to shoot for perfect balance. Balance doesn’t actually exist. Keith Hammons put it exceedingly well when he said, “the truth it, balance is bunk. It is an unattainable pipe dream...the quest for balance between work and life, as we’ve come to think of it, isn’t just a losing proposition; it’s a hurtful, destructive one.”

You get to decide what you want to focus on — which extremes you want to live at for the year.

If you’re starting an online business, it can be challenging not to get swept up in what other people are creating — a 6 figure business, a multiple 6 figure business, a 7 figure business, etc. But it’s up to you to determine what matters to YOU.

What do you actually want to create?

What do you actually think will bring you greatest satisfaction and fulfillment at the end of the day or year?

I’ll use myself as an example because I did this last year.

And that meant that in 2017 my priority wasn’t my business.

Not that my business wasn’t or isn’t incredibly important to me, because it is. But my why — the reason I wanted to have a business in the first place is I wanted to have flexibility to serve people in the way that I most desired, to make a difference in the lives of heart-centered women, aaaand to make money in a way that I could contribute to my home life financially, but also emotionally by being home when my husband and kids got home. Mind you, I didn’t have a husband or kids when I started my business, but that was truly my vision.

Welp, my vision couldn’t become my reality until I met that person and that was hugely important to me — has been for years.

In 2016 I set it as an intention to finally meet the right person for me. That happened. I met Kobi in August 2016 and we began dating in October, got engaged in January 2017 and married in June 2017. (If you’re curious you can get the full story + pics here).

That meant that 2017 saw a huge shift in my focus. From being single and focusing on growing my business, to meeting someone and focusing on partnership. My focus shifted back onto my business only in Q4 when I launched my signature course (click here to get added to the waitlist). But that’s ok. Whatever your vision is is your vision.

So be good with it.

Be excited about it.

Get behind it.


Tip #2: Choose a theme for the quarter

Based on where your business currently is and what you want to accomplish, choose a theme for the next 90 days. A theme is going to help you stay on track.

The point of choosing a theme is about leveraging the 80/20 rule which says that 80% of your results come from 20% of your actions.

Often we try to create balance, but balance isn’t really a thing: in business (as in life) not everything is of equal importance. Certain things we need to spend much more time on than others.

Choosing a theme will help you stay organized and focused and will also ensure that you’re focusing on things that are really going to matter in terms of moving your business forward. To break this down even further: make sure that your theme is related to one of the areas in business that are really going to move your business forward.


Tip #3: Divide your goals into quarters. Focus on the quarter ahead of you — first 90 days

Once you’re clear on your vision -- write down all the goals that you want to accomplish in the next year.

Of those goals that you want to accomplish in the next year, which do you want to accomplish in the next quarter—- 90 days?

It’s ideal to set your goal in 90 days or less because research shows that your mental horizon only goes out about 90 days. Once you go out further than the goal is too far out and you can’t maintain enthusiasm for the goal. If it’s less time than that, then you can’t make big moves. 90 Day is the Goldilocks-sweet-spot for getting the most done.


Tip #4 Take Massive action

Take massive action towards your 1 goal.

We overwhelm ourselves by spreading ourselves way too thin. You’re capable of more than you know so don’t disperse your energy. Take massive action and move forward on just one thing. Of course there will be different projects and tasks within the one thing you’re focusing on, but that singularity of purpose will move you forward in an incredible way.

Once you know which one thing you’ll be focusing on, take massive action.

Planning can be more fun than taking action. Especially if you’ve downloaded one of the billions of pretty calendars that are floating around right now. I get it, I’m susceptible (and guilty of that myself). It’s fun when they’re so pretty!

But lehsbereal. Prettiness and fun is probably not what your business is all about. If you don’t actually schedule things in to the pretty calendar and take action on it every month, week, and day. Nothing is going to change.

You’ve got to be willing to take massive action on the activities that you’ve planned so that you can truly move forward.

Here’s the caveat: hustling yourself into the ground is not the same as massive action.

If you do your planning properly then you’re being deliberate and intentional about your time and you’re just taking action. Taking the actions you’ve decided on and moving forward with your life.

You’re going to start getting into hustle mode when you’re putting too much on your plate or starting to focus on activities that are busy work but not moving your business forward.

Don’t be busy for the sake of being busy.

Focus on the money making activities — the activities that are really going to move the needle forward in your business such as:

  1. List building
  2. Content marketing + establishing your authority

  3. Other income generating activities

Look at the decision matrix and determine where your activities fall.

If most of your daily activities are falling in the not important quadrants — welp, that’s why you’re so busy but nothing is happening. If they need to get done, delegate them. If they don’t need to get done, then just stop doing them.


Tip #5 Delegate, delegate, delegate.

If you’re going to uplevel then you need to learn how to delegate. Yes, even if your business is fairly new and you don’t have that much money from it yet.

I get how challenging this can be, but it will serve you powerfully. It’s also an important mental shift you need to make otherwise you’re going to get stuck being an employee of your business.

I get how challenging this is -- because what I do is I get impatient. If someone isn’t available to do what I want immediately I think I should just do it myself. This is an important thing to shift out of though because you’re going to be doing too much.

How to Create More In Your Business: Tips for Female Entrepreneurs

One of my mantras for 2018 is create first.

For some of you creatives that might seem redundant. Or silly. ‘Cause you always create first. It's your natural state.

But not I.

I'm a consumer. Particularly of information. As we were all taught to be. I have always been an incredibly devoted learned — primarily through books. (I was one of those kids that would upset her parents because I wouldn't stop reading and come out of my room. And then when i did come out of my room I was still reading.)

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My love of education is a beautiful characteristic in many ways. Over the years my head has been filled with useful information and a love for learning.

But my head has also been filled with a ton of useless information. And a sort of perfectionism of feeling like I need to know everything before I can get started on something.

As an entrepreneur, this is often a detriment that slows me down.

Is there some value to this?

Of course.

But the truth is that for creatives and entrepreneurs (and creative entrepreneurs) there's so much of value. So much content. So much creativity already inside of us that often it's not necessary that we learn how to do everything right before we start.

If you're anything like me, you'll always be a student. Your thirst for knowledge will never dry up. However, there are ways to counterbalance your consuming with creating. Here are three tips:

Tip 1: Consume information that will help you understand and overcome the resistance to creating.  

Make a point of reading books and consuming information that will help you overcome the resistance, motivate you, and inspire you. Consume information that makes you want to hop out of that cozy worn spot on the couch and over to your desk to work.

The Art of War: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield gave me an understanding of what was happening to me — why I didn't want to take action on the things that I know I really do want to take action on.

Resistance.

Resistance is an invisible force that, "cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It's a repelling force. It's negative. It aims to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work."

Resistance is also internal, insidious, implacable, and impersonal, infallible, universal, and fueled by fear:  "Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master that fear and we conquer Resistance."

Ah, fear. Of course.

Elizabeth Gilbert describes fear in her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear:

My fear was a song with only one note — only one word, actually — and that word was “STOP!” My fear never had anything more interesting or subtle to offer than that one emphatic word, repeated at full volume on an endless loop: “STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!...I also realized that my fear was boring because it was identical to everyone else’s fear. I figured out that everyone’s song of fear has exactly the same tedious lyric: “STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP!’ True, the volume may vary from person to person, but the song itself never changes, because all of us humans were equipped with the same basic fear package when we were being knitted in our mothers’ wombs.

That describes me. And may describe you. And probably describes a lot of us. That's why it's poignant, relevant, and interesting.

On some level, it's easy enough to recognize that it's fear holding you back from what you want to create in your life. But seeing it on a page. In such an eloquent way. It allows for a shift. A little bit of magic, if you will.

It is natural to feel fear. About the things we create. And about putting them out into the world for other people to see. And potentially criticism. The things that we make ourselves are so precious and personal. It's like a small piece of you that you're making available to others. And for others to harshly judge — well, of course, that feels terrifying.

Yes, that fear is part of what makes us prefer to consume rather than create.

If I'm just taking in more information…
...I don't have to put myself at risk because I'm not sharing anything I've created
....I can learn from other people what they did what worked, and I'll do it exactly like them so that I too can be successful.
...I can appear "busy" and "productive" but don't have to dig into my creative mind and heart.

But calling a spade a spade. Recognizing that you're more than your fear and your basest instincts, (Big Magic reminds us that tadpoles also have this fear response) can be enough to inspire creation. And begin developing courage.

And courage is one of the antidotes to this fear and resistance.

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The other?

Turning Pro.

The Art of War prescribes treating creative endeavors with ten principles one would take from any other professional job:

  1. Show up every day
  2. Show up no matter what
  3. Stay on the job all day
  4. Committed over the long haul
  5. The stakes are high and real
  6. Accept remuneration for labor
  7.  Don't over-identify with job
  8. Master the technique of the job
  9. Have a sense of humor about job
  10. Receive praise our blame in the real world

It all sounds rather drab and rote, but there's a reason for that.

Showing up daily to create allows for a transformation to happen. Eventually, you don't have have to rely on forcing yourself to do the work, but forces outside of you begin to support you:

...when we sit down day after day and keep grinding, something mysterious starts to happen...A process is set in motion by which, inevitably and infallibly, heaven comes to our aid. Unseen forces enlist in our cause; serendipity reinforces our purpose...this is the other secret that real artists known and wannabe writers don’t. When we sit down each day and do our work, power concentrates around us. The Muse takes note of our dedication. She approves. We have earned favor in her sight. When we sit down and work, we become like a magnetized rod that attract iron filings. Ideas come. Insights accrete.
This is the point we’re trying to reach. Where work and creation feel fun. When we’re in the flow. The flow doesn’t have to be this amorphous, vague concept. Instead, it can be something that you manufacture by showing up and doing the work.

Which takes me to the next point…

Tip 2: Decide on your creating and create first. Consistently.

You don't necessarily have to go from 0 to 60. But you do need to start.

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Decide to create.

Meaning how much are you going to commit to every day. Make sure it's something that you can stick to.

Because here's the thing: even if you're not doing a ton every day, you'll feel the compound effect of your efforts so long as you're consistent.

It's about training your body and mind so that you don't give in to your resistance all the time.

Because here's what happens to most people initially. They start something, and they're not getting any attention for it.

They're doing their work for a period and no one cares. No one pays attention. Because people don't yet have a reason to pay attention.

But when you keep going, people eventually start to take notice.

There are countless stories of people who reached their level of success from showing up consistently.

We look at people and think that they're an overnight success story, but upon a closer look, we see that they've been showing up consistently for months or years.

And here's a practical exercise to get things going…

Tip 3: Write morning pages

Morning pages are an exercise I first learned from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, a book for artists that has value and advice for anyone stuck or unfulfilled in their work. Anyone experiencing Resistance.

Here it is: in a journal, first thing in the morning just free form write for three pages in your notebook. Just write whatever comes up for you. No need to edit or censor, or make it beautiful, you're just writing and getting it all out. No one else will see it. It's just stream of consciousness.

The first few days I did this, all I could think about was the dreams I had or my plans for the day. But after a few days, it shifted. I would get ideas. I would have clarity. It was a little bit of magic I could experience first thing in the morning.

Creative thinking comes during that early morning time. The light bulb moments happen more readily.

For me, it's also helped me feel more organized and lessen anxiety. Plus it puts me in motion. After spending time doing this simple exercise that takes around 25 minutes, I'm prepared to work. I want to work.

Here are some of the other benefits:

  • Writing morning pages center and clear your mind. We all have tens of thousands of thoughts going through our brain each day. Many of them are repetitive. Doing a sort of brain dump first thing in the morning can help you sift through some of the muck so you can think more constructively and creatively.
  • They can help silence your inner critic
  • They lessen resistance
  • It's grounding
  • Helps generate ideas
  • Boosts productivity

It's unnecessary creation. Writing just for the sake of writing.

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Part of my struggle is there's a level of perfectionism. Needing to do things right. And always wanting to get "there." Morning pages are about the process. You're never sharing them with anyone. (And Cameron suggests you not even re-read them yourself).

You're a powerful creator, you simply need to create. Create first.

3 Ways You're Blocking Yourself (And How To Fix It)

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It starts with a little voice in the back of your head whispering, “That sounds fun!” or “I could totally do that!” And suddenly, you have a new dream.

The second the dream takes root you realise: “I’m soooo not happy with where I am right now. I want to be there instead!”

It’s a no-brainer to recognise where you want to be, but getting there...that’s a whole other thing.

The human mind is really weird at times.

When you think of a new career, or a fresh direction, and you know it would completely light you up, your brain right away gets to work tearing it down.

All this resistance appears (seemingly out of nowhere):

“Is this really going to work for me?”

“How can I do this when I don’t know the industry?”

“I’ve invested so much in my current career, I can’t just abandon it!”

And so you stop yourself from getting to where you want to be, and what you truly want to do.

What’s up with that??

Let’s dive in...

#1 You’re Waiting For…

There are three main blocks that get in people’s way, but this one is The Big One.

Committing to a career (or career change) is a lot like dating.

There are a lot of really cute prospects (the good ideas you have about careers you might like), but you’re waiting on ‘the one’.

The one career that’s going to be your thing.

So while these ideas look pretty attractive, you’re not interested. You’re waiting for the one career, the one idea, that smacks you upside the head like a sledgehammer.

The one that makes you dizzy with possibility.

You want the certainty that it’s definitely right for you, and definitely the right time; you need that before you commit to it.

This is especially true if you already have a career you’ve put a lot of time and effort into.

It’s...dating a guy you like, and have good time with, but there’s something missing. You know he isn’t your ‘forever’. But he’s a great guy, and he makes you laugh, so you’re in no rush to walk away from him.

It would take someone really special to make you sure. Someone you just knew, immediately, was perfect for you.

Your fate. Your destiny.

You want to hear the bells! *Ding Ding Ding! He’s THE ONE!*

Switching careers is no different. Your current situation might not be perfect, but it could be worse.

You need reassurance before you jump ship.

So you wait. You wait for the perfect time to make the move.

You wait for the bells!

What’s wrong with that?

I mean, it’s a big commitment after all, you don’t want into rush it. You should be sure, right?

Except... nothing is ever sure in life.

While you’re waiting for the perfect moment, for that sledgehammer to hit and those bells to ring, opportunities are passing you by.

You might very well meet your destiny, your forever, and not give them more than a glance, because you’re expecting a huge romantic event when you meet your elusive ‘one’.

It’s hard to imagine you might just bump into them one day, smile, say, “Sorry!” and that would be it.

The One should be bigger than that, right?

Wrong.

Not every great relationship (or brilliant business idea) start with a bang.

The Perfect Time Doesn’t Exist

Before I launched my business I was desperate for change, but it never seemed like the ‘perfect time’ to do it.

My job as a lawyer was overwhelming me. I needed change, but I was scared. I didn’t know where to start.

In the end I realised it was time to stop asking myself, “Why now?”, in an attempt to prove the perfect time was upon me, and instead ask, “Why not now?”

And to that question, I had no answer.

Since then, I hear people say some variant of, “I’m not sure it’s the right time!” about so many things.

They might be talking about taking a new direction in their career, starting a new biz, diving into a new relationship, or committing to a new health plan.

It doesn’t matter what they’re talking about, they’re all waiting for…

Something.

They’re not even sure what, they just feel they have to wait for it.

Such a momentous change should be heralded by an equally spectacular feeling, or a grand sign; the ringing of those bells.

As if the universe is going to do something to finally make it clear to you that, yes, now is The Perfect Time for change.

The truth is that any moment can be a time for change, if you choose to make it so.

You make it the perfect time when you decide to start.

But starting is something we really struggle with...

A while ago I was speaking to a woman about the new business she wanted to start.

Like many of the people who find me she had this big dream, and she was putting it off.

I asked her what she saw as the next step needed, in order to move forward with her business idea. I asked, “What’s keeping you from taking that step?”

“I need a designer to create a logo,” she told me. “And I can’t afford that right now, so I’m stuck.”

Immediately, I felt the side of my lips curl up into a smile. Not because I was laughing at her, but because I could see that she heard the absurdity of it the second the words left her mouth.

“Oh,” she said, "that sounds insane now I actually say it out loud!"

"Yup, sure does," I said. "Plus, it’s just not true. You don't need a logo to move forward. You don’t need a logo at all!"

You’re Really Just Procrastinating

If you're waiting on a logo that you can't afford, or you're waiting for some other event that’s outside your control, but you think you desperately need to happen before you take the next step, you're making excuses.

Let's call an audible on that, shall we?

Obsessing over logos and branding shouldn't be an excuse for not moving forward. Especially since you can create your own amazing visual brand yourself aaaaand develop your brand voice and message, really simply.

Of course, it's fantastic to have professional branding that fully encapsulates what you're doing, but it's not necessary when you're starting out.

And it definitely doesn't need to be your first step.

This isn’t a genuine reason to put off starting a business.

There’s nothing standing in your way, you’re simply procrastinating.

In fact, you’re procrastibranding (Yes, it’s such a common block there’s a word for it!)

I built my first website on weebly. That got me through my first handful of clients. It wasn’t fancy, but it did the job until I could afford a pretty site with professional branding.

Here's the big truth about branding:

Branding is just letting people know who you are.

When the right people know who you are, they want to know more.

As they get to know you, they start to like and trust you.

Once they know, like, and trust you, they're open to buying from you.

When they're open to buying from you, you can sell to them with ease.

They receive something of high value. You receive money.

Yes, there are other things to consider. But when you break it down to it's purest form, all branding does is help people get to know you.

The only thing you need to let people know you is yourself.

You already have that!

If you're just beginning to develop your brand and you approach it from this pure place, you're going to naturally accomplish the golden rule of branding: be real.

Procrastibranding is a really great example of how procrastination can hold you back, but it’s something we do about so many things in business.

Every time you ask yourself, “Why not now?” and come up with an answer, check it.

Is it something that is genuinely in your way, an insurmountable obstacle, or are you just procrastinating?

I’m willing to bet you can’t think of any excuse that isn’t some form of procrastination.

If you’re struggling with procrastibranding be sure to sign up for my FREE WORKSHOP How to Master Your Mindset & Marketing to Fully Book Your Creative, Coaching, or Online Biz, so you can learn the activities you should actually be focusing on and the actions you need to take now to move the needle forward in your business.

#2  You’re Stuck In A Limiting Mindset

Another challenge I faced when I started my business was my own limiting mindset.

I loved the new work I was doing, but it was hard for me to push past my own established limits. There were a lot of ideas I had about myself and the career path I had carved out as a lawyer, which I had to leave behind.

I’d worked so hard to get to where I was, only to realise it wasn’t where I wanted to be. When you’ve poured that much of yourself into something it’s really tough to let it go.

It’s like losing a part of yourself.

There aren’t many of us who can willingly let go of a pieces of ourselves, even if they’re pieces we no longer want.

They’re still a part of you, so you must need them, right?

And what if you change your mind?

What if you’re making a mistake?

Really what you’re thinking is, ‘What if i can’t be any more than I am, and by trying to do this, I become less?”

There’s this fear that by striving for more, you will end up with less.

It’s hard to see how important a step it is to let it go. It isn’t a loss. It doesn’t mean everything you’ve done so far was a waste of time. You’re simply continuing your journey in an unexpected direction.

It will take you somewhere you never expected to be, but that doesn’t mean where you were is any less vital.

You have to wrap your mind around the idea that everything we go through, we are meant to go through.

The lessons, skills, and experiences we are meant to have stay with us.

The path that I went down as a lawyer uniquely prepared me for what I do now. That experience is part of why I am a great coach.

Shine a light on your own worries and concerns. They are what’s holding you back. No one’s blackmailing you into staying in the job you hate.

You are the one stopping yourself.

Action Plan

Dive into upgrading your mindset! Check out the posts, here, here, and here.

#3 You Live By the Expectations of Others

Once you’ve moved past all the ways you’re getting in your own way, you need to deal with the expectations of others.

One of the hardest things to do is let go of other people’s ideas of what you should do, and do what’s best for you instead.

The things that have most held me back over have always been my fears surrounding the judgement of others and how they might perceive me.

It’s really tough when you have a passion for something, and are really enthusiastic about doing it, but it’s ‘just not done’.

When I decided I wanted to become a coach, I faced a lot of resistance. Coaching simply wasn’t something that was taken seriously. I mean, I was coming from law! That’s a respected and very well-established profession. Something your friends and family can understand.

Coaching was this new area with no regulations.

A lot of people don’t understand it, or they view it as being a bit sketchy.

I could have easily been crippled by other people’s expectations and views. Instead, I got the training, I started coaching on the side with no expectations of what it might become, and now, I’m a full-time coach.

Most of the people I work with are making some kind of transition.

They have a lot of concerns about how people are going to respond to the change.

And it’s true, people might not understand.

Everyone is used to taking traditional steps toward success. But that might not be the way for you.

You might be different, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

That’s what makes you amazing.

You know The Voice, the singing competition? Whenever a singer gets the chairs to turn around, I feel ridiculously happy for them. That’s how I feel when I coach and help people get what they really want.

When you find something that gives you that feeling, that makes you feel you have star quality, that you’re good enough to turn the chair, you quickly realize your feelings and the way you can serve others are more important than what other people think.

Give your new career dream a chance.

I guarantee, when you prove everyone wrong by becoming a huge success, all the people you were so worried about it will be trying to pretend they were behind you the whole time.

Action Plan

Recognize that many of your thoughts and beliefs about how other people are going to react are actually projections. The Work of Byron Katie is the most powerful and effective way of understanding and moving past this. Click here for more information as well as a step-by-step worksheet to move past others’ expectations.

If one of the dreams you’re blocking yourself from is creating your own business, then be sure to join me on November 28th, 29th, or 30th for a totally FREE live workshop on How to Master Your Mindset & Marketing to Fully Book Your Creative, Coaching, or Online Business (Even If You’re Still in a 9-5)

 

7 Things You Must Do to Realize Your Big Dream

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

- Marianne Williamson

I am obsessed with this quote from the brilliant Marianne Williamson because I see this SO much — people fearful of really putting themselves out there, creating what they want, switching jobs, pursuing the person the want to be with, or starting their dream business.

The thought process goes something like, “Well, if I don’t get what I want, it’s ok because I didn’t reeeeeally try.”

Let’s call an audible on that, shall we?

The truth is, there’s magic when we can recognize and move towards our own light — our big dreams.

Wanting something that’s big and out of your comfort zone can be scarier than a blackout when you’re home alone during a horror movie. Many people experience ‘upper limits’, a point in our growth and achievement that takes us outside our comfort zone because it goes beyond our threshold for a certain amount of good in our lives. When this happens, even though we really want it, we often find we’re unprepared for the change, and we self-sabotage, returning ourselves to a set point at which we felt comfortable.

Realizing a big dream takes more than just envisioning it and hoping for the best.

Aside from the physical work involved in making your dream a reality, you need to do the inner work necessary to ready yourself for that reality.

You need to mentally prepare yourself for the shift from the idea of your big dream, to actually making it happen.

When you have a big dream, it’s suuuper important to grow into it.

If you do some work around your dreams, what they will mean for you, and how they will change your life, it’s a lot easier to realize them.

And you’re far more likely to hold onto your dreams when you do succeed if you’ve done the work to prepare for their arrival.

Here are 7 things you must do to realize your big dream:

1. Get Clear On Your Vision

When there’s something you want it’s important to get really clear on exactly what it is.

When I decide there’s something new I want in my life, I picture exactly what my world would look like if I actually had it.

I’ve seen that things line up if you’re specific about exactly what you want.

You would never call up a pizza store and say, “Send me a pizza. Kthanksbye.”

You’d tell them exactly what you wanted, right down to the extra cheese, onions, and olives.

If you don’t tell them you want a stuffed crust, you can’t be surprised (or annoyed!) when a thin crust turns up on your door. (Uhh, pizza sounds so good right now!)

It’s not what you wanted, but the world didn’t know that, because you weren’t specific enough.

It’s the same with your dreams.

The more specific you are about what you want, the closer you’ll get to receiving exactly what you wanted.

Think about it.

How can you work toward something if you’re not completely clear on what exactly you’re aiming for?

You’ll never know when you achieve your goal, if what you’re doing is working, and whether there are other things you should be doing to get there.

You could be heading in the wrong direction, and you’d never know it.

It’s also a lot easier to stay motivated if you have a really clear image of how life will change once you have that thing you want.

Most of us would say we wanted more money, but when you know exactly what you’d do with that money, and precisely how much you need in order to do it, working towards the goal is a lot easier.

And the more specific you are the better.

Rather than saying ‘I want to earn more so I can go on vacation every year’, think about what that would look like.

Where will you go?

What will you do while you’re there?

How many vacations in a year?

Who will you take with you?

If you can picture yourself in Bora Bora, in a beautiful little bungalow with the warm sun kissing your skin and sparkling azure waves all around (can you tell what I’m dreaming of?), you’re going to be a lot more motivated to work on your goal.

2. Focus On How You Feel

One way to get clear on your big dream is to evaluate similar experiences you’ve had in the past. Times when you got close to your dream, but it wasn’t quite right.

Ask yourself, “Why wasn’t it right?”

By asking this question, you can find out what you need to be doing differently.

You might also want to think about how you’ll feel when you achieve your dream.

It’s easy to focus on the practical details of what you’ll do, and the numerical details of how much you will have, but feelings are just as (if not more!) important.

As you’re zooming in on your big dream make sure you don’t leave out your feelings. They are, ultimately, a big part of what we create in our lives.

The more aware you are of your feelings, the more easily you will be able to tap into your intuition, and work towards your goal from a place of inspiration.

Often we know in our gut if we’re on the right track, or heading down the wrong path, but it’s easy to disregard that intuition.

We set it aside, dismissing it as nerves, paranoia, cold feet, and any number of other explanations.

But if you’re truly going to create the life you want, and realize your biggest, most fabulous dreams, you should learn to follow through on the “nudges” of inspiration you feel.

More than that, working towards a dream shouldn’t be a huge struggle.

Often it’s the journey itself that proves to be most rewarding.

So while achieving your ultimate goal is important, you want to enjoy the ride to get there!

It shouldn’t usually be a struggle.

If you’re finding everything you’re doing is laced with negative emotion, and that you’re struggling through regardless, you’re probably on the wrong path.

3. Review Your Personal State

When you’re trying to realize a big dream, you might forget to look at how your current state invites that dream in.

Are your daily habits, work environment, and leisure time such that you’re big dream has the opportunity to become a reality?

Here’s the thing: big dreams don’t happen until there is space for them in your life.

For example, I wanted to meet my soulmate for years and I dated a lot.

There was a period when I was a lawyer, unhappy with my job, and I wasn’t attracting the person I wanted. I realized my life vision was too small for the person I wanted to meet. A man like the one I dreamed of meeting would want someone who was more dynamic than my current self. Someone who wasn’t sitting wasting away in a job, miserable, with no ambition.

I realized I needed something else to focus on.

Before I could find the perfect person to spend my life with, I had to make myself the person I truly wanted to be.

Until I’d done that, until I was 100% comfortable in myself, I would always attract the wrong people, because the man I wanted wouldn’t want me!

How could he - if I’m totally honest, I didn’t fully want myself back then. But it wasn’t until I stopped and reviewed where I was at personally that I realized this.

So, I shifted my personal state to focus on making myself happy instead of searching for a partner to do it. I became a coach ‘cause I wanted to create a career I could love and be proud of. I did become happier and more fulfilled as a result.

And right on cue, as I welcomed my dream self, I made room for my dream man to scamper into my life.

How could you shift your personal state to welcome your big dream?

Instead of focusing on what’s missing in your life, focus on creating the space in your life that will be occupied by your dream when it arrives.

Create the opportunity for what you want to enter your life.

4. Release Negative Beliefs

If you’re harboring any beliefs that your dream isn’t possible, it’s important to release them.

This can take a surprisingly long time. It helps to remember that a belief is nothing but a thought you have thought a lot.

Some of your beliefs become deeply ingrained, especially if you’ve been thinking them for 20 years or so.

It’s not as simple as saying, “I’m not going to think that anymore!” or “I don’t believe that anymore!”

The more ingrained beliefs are, the more they stick around.

At the heart of your negative beliefs is usually the feeling that you either don’t deserve your dream, or you’re not good enough to ever achieve it.

“I don’t deserve to have this!”

“I’m not enough to have this!”

There’s considerable variety in both of these. The specific reasons you believe you don’t deserve something will vary. Exactly why you feel you’re ‘not enough’ will also be different.

Whether you feel you’re not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, thin enough…. It doesn’t really matter.

I’ve experienced aspects of both of these beliefs. I had to forgive myself for believing each, and release them both on a deep level.

EFT and Ho’oponopono are two of my favorite tools to clear limiting beliefs.

5. Clear Physical Space

You’ve already mentally and emotionally cleared the space for your dream by focusing on your feelings, reviewing your personal state, and releasing your negative beliefs.

Now it’s time to make the physical space required for your big dream.

It is crucial to really, really believe that your big dream is going to happen.

When you 100% believe in the eventual realization of your dream, it makes sense that you would physically prepare for its arrival.

That means decluttering.

Clear your calendar, make room in your home, or get the materials you’ll need for your dream.

Symbolically making space for what you want can have a big impact on actually creating it.

Once you have taken this step you can shift into a new mindset:

“I’ve done my work, now things are going to align.”

Your big dream becomes inevitable, because there’s space for it in your life, and you’re ready to receive it.

6. Take Inspired Action

Achieving your goals has a lot to do with mindset, but it’s important to remember that you also have to take action.

I say it all the time: your dreams don’t work unless you do.

It’s not enough to declutter, mentally and physically, and wait for your big dream to happen.

You need to take inspired action to make it happen.

Clearing the physical space for your dream is the first step to doing this, because it requires you to take action in the real world, and not just in your inner world.

Taking too many actions can be as limiting as taking no action at all. It’s far better for your action to be inspired, and firmly rooted in the clear vision you have established.

Rather than spinning your wheels and getting overwhelmed trying to do a million things that might achieve your goal, really focus. Determine exactly which actions are most important, and most likely to move you forward.

Start by asking yourself a simple question:

“What must I do today to move the needle forward?”

That will get the ball rolling.

If you can, come up with a full-on action plan.

Determine exactly what needs doing and when. Plan your inspired actions for the upcoming days, weeks, months, even years.

This can be a truly powerful and wonderful experience. It not only motivates you to act, and keeps you motivated in your action, it will help you achieve consistent, inspired, massive action.

7. Learn Continuously

Whatever you’re doing, become a master of it.

Mastery takes experience and constant learning.

When I became a lawyer I had to go through 4 years of undergrad, 3 years of law school, and take the CA bar before I could practice law.

I also spent 2.5 years actually working in a law firm as a clerk, learning the ins and outs of trial law.

There aren’t requirements like this in my current industry, but I bring that same studiousness to my career as a coach.

I’m constantly investing in coaching, mentorship, courses, and training. I continually invest in myself and the support I need for creating what I most desire.

Hire a coach or mentor. Take a course. Sign up for a training.

If you’re looking for a place to start, the waitlist for Business Launch Lab is now OPEN! It’s the PERFECT thing for anyone dreaming of starting their own biz and it’s opening November 13, 2017 with LIMITED spaces available. Click here to get on the waitlist so you can start realizing your big dream!

The Biggest Block To Success In A New Business (And How To Move Past It)

money mindset and blocks to success in new coaching, creative, and online businesses. how to move past mindset blocks.png

You’ve finally started your creative, coaching, or online business — woohoo! Congrats!

Now you just have to succeed. And not just by mom’s standard, but real, bona fide, Taylor Swift level success. You’re doing everything right. Yet success still feels out of reach.

I can tell you why:

Your mindset.

How Your Mindset Is Blocking Your Success

One huuuuggge mistake many people make is believing that success hinges on action alone.

You crave success and immediately start taking action designed to achieve your dreams. This is a problem if you do so without direction, and before you’ve done the inner work needed to support successful outcomes in the long run.

In the short term, the action you take seems to work, but it will eventually lead to big trouble. Your focus should be on more than growing your business quickly.

I know, I know, growth hacking is all the rage, but if your growth isn’t built on strong foundations, and backed up by your own rock solid success mentality, it’s not sustainable growth.

The obsession with reaching a large dollar amount in a small space of time can be crippling to long-term success. The much-hyped ‘six-figure business’ is a label we all want to wear proudly, but earning six figures isn’t nearly so tough as making six figures consistently.

Year in, year out.

Yes, you want to make money in your business. It’s a business after all. But a quick boost in income is just that: fast and fleeting.

That’s not T Swift success. That’s more like a one-hit wonder.

You’re worth so much more than that!

Here’s the thing: taking massive action can result in progress. It can even lead to epic growth. But it will only get you so far before you slam into the Dark Lord of all barriers: your own upper limit.

The Upper Limits

“The goal in life is not to attain some imaginary ideal; it is to find and fully use our own gifts.” 
– Gay Hendricks

Experience taught me the upper limit lesson all too well.

I started out working as a lawyer. Despite enjoying the mental challenge of the work, and the financial success it brought, I was getting run down.

What I was craving was work I’d find fulfilling and enjoyable. Eventually, I found my passion and purpose in coaching.

Once my path became clear, I worked my tail off! I was so relieved to finally be doing something that lit me up; I hustled hard.

Pouring everything into my coaching business, I built a six-figure business in less than a year.

It was exciting and I was ready to up-level.

At least, I thought I was ready.

When I tried to take the next logical step, I smacked right into my upper limit.

It seriously felt like I’d mentally and emotionally run headlong into a cement wall.  

Everything came to a complete standstill.

I was at a total loss.

After several months of soul searching I finally recovered and was ready to take action, but I’d learned my lesson: I had to do the inner work first.

The Big Leap

I’m far from alone in my experience. What happened to me is typical; when you’re making a big transition in life, and you fail to do the mindset work to support your efforts, you inevitably hit an upper limit.

It was the tremendous book, The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, that first introduced me to the concept of upper limits. As the book explains, upper limits are set points we subconsciously harbor, for everything from love to wealth to happiness. If we find ourselves going beyond one of our set points, we are thrown off-balance and (either consciously or unconsciously) do everything within our power to return to our established equilibrium.

So, if your set point for money is an income of $80,000 a year, hitting a six-figure income is going to throw you off kilter. Even though earning more is a positive thing, and it’s a great achievement.

It doesn’t matter, your upper limit has been breached, and you will scrabble your way back to safety beneath it as fast as you can.

Why Lottery Winners Go Broke

Here’s a shocking statistic to demonstrate the point: According to the National Endowment for Financial Education, 70% of lottery winners who win huge jackpots quickly lose it again, going back to being broke.

Why?

Quite simply, the majority of people who play (and win) the lottery have never experienced anywhere near the amount of money they suddenly have when they win.

They weren’t necessarily poor before, but their set point for wealth was far lower than their bank balance instantly became.

The sudden nature of lottery wins also means that, for the most part, winners have not mentally prepared themselves for the abrupt change in fortunes. How could they? Nobody actually expects to win millions of dollars.

Most people don’t sit down and work on their mindset every time they buy a ticket.

So they’ve not done the inner work needed to adjust to the transition.

They hit an upper limit, and like anyone else hitting an upper limit, do everything they can to return the world to normal.

Humans are hardwired to flee the unfamiliar.

Whether it’s conscious or not, lottery winners often make impulsive, rash purchases, poor investments, and fail to put anything aside in savings.

It’s the fastest way of getting back to a situation that is familiar, and therefore comfortable.

The Celebrity Trap

Another great example of upper limit issues are the musicians, actors, and athletes who achieve great success, far beyond their set point, and self-sabotage to regain their equilibrium.

Look at Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, and Amanda Bynes. All child stars who rapidly shot to fame when they were accustomed to relatively humble, and considerably younger lifestyles. They hit the upper limit trifecta: wealth, success, and maturity, and buckled under the pressure.

Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, and Pete Doherty, all suddenly hit superstardom and had no idea how to cope.

Self-Sabotaging Your Success

While there are loads of ways people can react to upper limit issues, self-sabotaging is the most common.

When I hit my upper limit in my business, I self-sabotaged by disconnecting and becoming stagnant in my work.

I stopped communicating and connecting, with friends, family, and readers.

Completely.

I stopped writing new content, engaging on social media, and sending emails. Worse, I turned away potential new clients, completely withdrawing. My business ground to a halt.

Your dream doesn’t work unless you do.

I wasn’t putting any energy into my business, and it didn’t have the juice to carry on without me.

Other people react by running themselves ragged, piling more and more work on themselves until they eventually get sick.

Everything still stops, but for a different reason.

Another common self-sabotaging trick is creating unnecessary drama in your life. You pick fights with your friends, overspend causing financial issues, fall into destructive behavior that can cause problems in your work and relationships, or just indulge in negative thinking. You wallow in negativity until you’re so saturated by it that it’s all you know, and everything in your life begins to reflect it. This only convinces you of the futility of things, and on and on it goes…

Self-sabotage is generally subconscious. Most people don’t willingly prevent themselves from experiencing wonderful things. But the sense of safety and security that comes with our established equilibrium is incredibly powerful. It’s often far more powerful than the lure of whatever aspect of life we’re in the process of up leveling.

Safety is a primary human need. Our brains are, above everything else, programmed to protect us. As a result, they often act in counterintuitive ways, damaging good things in our life to preserve the norm.

Beyond The Upper Limits

Upper limits exist where we have limiting self-beliefs. When you’re ready to move on up to the next level, either in your life or business, you need first to examine the beliefs you have around the change.

You may find nothing is standing in your way, but you might equally discover there are certain mindsets, concepts, and beliefs that are deeply ingrained, which contradict the change you’re looking to make.

If that’s the case, a little personal growth is needed to smash that upper limit, and clear the way to reach your next level.

Upgrading Your Beliefs About Being The Boss

Let’s say you’re starting a new business. You’re about to become your own boss for the very first time - awesome! But you’ve never been a business owner before. It’s an entirely new concept for you. Up to now, you’ve always had someone telling you what to do and when, which tasks to prioritize, and whether or not you’re doing a good job or not.

Shifting to a state that allows you to do this for yourself, and even delegate tasks to others is a big leap. It takes a whole new way of thinking and operating.

A little mental preparation is required before you attempt it. Otherwise, you’re likely to find it very uncomfortable and may self-sabotage your new business efforts to force yourself back into a position that’s familiar.

Picturing yourself in a role before you step into it is a great way to prepare yourself for the change. Step into the shoes of a business owner or CEO and ask yourself:

  • How would a business owner make a decision?
  • How would a business owner schedule her day?
  • How would a business owner talk about herself?

Upgrading Your Beliefs About Money

In business we make money. That’s the goal. We often have other goals as well, ones that ensure our work is personally and professionally fulfilling, but at a basic level, we need to earn enough to live. At a higher level, we want to earn enough to live our dream life.

Hindsight always comes with 20/20 vision. When I look back at the upper limit I hit in my own business, it’s clear that I needed to seriously upgrade my money beliefs before I could move forward.

One month I earned more than I ever had before, and it scared me. All the fears and limiting beliefs I harbored about money reared their ugly heads. They growled and snarled and made me feel it wasn’t safe to earn that much money.

And the following month, I didn’t earn as much.

My fears receded slightly, I felt safer, but I was never going to move forward in my business if I couldn’t get over the block I was facing.

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”
– Edmund Hillary

I had to find a way to accept that it was safe for me to earn more. Not only that, but it was also vital that I believed I deserved to make more.

Until I did that crucial inner work, I was stuck.

What I needed was a great success mindset. Part of that is embracing the climb that is inherent to building a business or achieving any goal in life. Sometimes though, the mountain you’re climbing isn’t a series of obstacles blocking your path in the real world, but an internal mountain of mindset issues and limiting self-beliefs that you need to conquer.

Raising Your Money Consciousness

To succeed in your business, you need to regularly upgrade your beliefs around money. Download my free Money Workbook now to help you raise your money consciousness.

5 Blocks Holding You Back

The specific blocks standing in your way will depend on your personality, history, and beliefs. But here are five common blocks that you’re likely to experience at some point:

  1. Believing success and abundance only come from hard work. Because you’re running a business you love, which doesn’t always feel like hard work, you are somehow conning people or earning money dishonestly.

  2. Feeling flawed and therefore unworthy of success, wealth, and happiness.

  3. Fearing abandonment or the perceptions of others, and therefore avoiding exposure and signing new clients.

  4. Believing success is a burden, and avoiding it in favor of an ‘easier’ life.

  5. Hiding your light for fear of what others will think of your true abilities, or how they will feel if you outshine them.

4 Practical Steps To Move Past Your Upper Limits

Here are four simple steps to help you take action supported by inner work, and reach for real and sustainable level success:

Step 1: Identify Your Self-Sabotaging Patterns

The first step is raising your awareness of the beliefs you hold surrounding success and making money, and pinpointing the patterns that are limiting you. Once you know your patterns, you can work towards changing them. Simply paying attention to your thoughts and beliefs surrounding success and money is incredibly powerful.

Begin by taking a few minutes every day to reflect on the thoughts you’ve had surrounding success and money. Like other bad habits, self-sabotage and negative beliefs follow a pattern that’s predictable once you’re aware of it.

Keep a journal of them so you can see what crops up repeatedly. Jot down a quick note of anything that happened to trigger your thoughts, and any negative things they resulted in.

Step 2: Face Your Fears

At its heart, self-sabotage is nothing more than fear. The irony is that it’s rooted in a very natural instinct for self-preservation.

Think of it as self-love that spectacularly backfires.

It’s driven by your fears and the only way to defuse it is to face them.

What exactly are you afraid of, and why?

Every time you come to an answer to the ‘why?’ ask again. Keep digging until you can’t go any deeper and you’re sure you’ve found the root of the fear.

How realistic is that fear? If there’s genuine cause for concern? How can you make sure the possible negative result doesn't happen? If it’s not likely to happen, what can you do to remind yourself of this when you start to become afraid?

Step 3: Do Less, Be Better

One of the first things any coach will tell you is that abundance is best created through simplicity. Focus on the things that matter most, and stop wasting time on things that don’t matter, or can easily be outsourced or delegated.

Refusing to prioritize and delegate is a form of self-sabotage, constantly keeping you in a state of overwhelm that prevents you achieving your goals.

List out your top three most important tasks (MITs) each day. Focus on these tasks. If other tasks must be completed that day, delegate.

You will spend less time working, but the quality of everything getting done (by you and others) will be better.

Step 4: Check In Regularly

Creatives, coaches, and entrepreneurs often find their work lonely, especially when they are working on growth, and doing the inner self-development work necessary to support it.

It’s so important to surround yourself with like-minded people who understand the challenges you are facing, and goals you are trying to achieve.

Every time you uplevel your business your goals and inner work will shift up a gear. Make sure you are always surrounded by people who are at the same level as you, as well as people a few steps ahead of you.

Join a mastermind group, get an accountability partner, and don’t worry if you find that, over time, you outgrow relationships and need to find new ones, in alignment with your new level of growth.

Take courses, hire a coach or mentor. Invest in yourself.

Check in with yourself (using daily affirmations, and by keeping a journal of your blocks), as well as with your mastermind group and accountability partner on a regular basis.

How To Cultivate A Rock Solid Success Mindset

 How To Cultivate A Rock Solid Success Mindset

Dreaming of success, are you?

Determined to make an impact, as well as a great income as a creative, coach, or entrepreneur?

Excellent! You have a gift and a message. It’s only right that it’s shared with the world.

But do you know the difference between the dreamers whose visions get lost in the clouds, and those who bring their dreams down to earth, and make them a reality?

Mindset.

The most successful individuals are the ones who understand that accomplishment doesn’t just happen; it requires action and a rock-solid success mindset.

Those who make it big and fulfill their hearts’ desires have resourceful minds. They’re capable of focusing on the things that will help them reach their goals while creating within themselves the beliefs, motivations, and emotional states that propel them to success.

What Is A Success Mindset?

A success mindset ensures you take actions and develop habits that are essential to achieving your objectives.

As an entrepreneur, cultivating a success mindset is vital for building a prosperous business.

But exactly how do you go about it?

The tallest tree in the forest was once nothing more than a teeny tiny nut that held its ground.

Successful people may look polished and sometimes exude charisma and confidence. They may carry an aura that makes it appear success was always inevitable for them.

So what’s the problem?

We seldom examine these people at the start of their journey. We see the end result and admire their success, but we don’t see everything it took for them to get there.

Every successful business owner was once a fledgling entrepreneur who had yet to succeed.

Everyone has the potential for success. The question is not can you succeed, but will you?

Are you tenacious enough to hold your ground?

Your Definition of Success

Success is a funny term. We all know what it means, yet it has different meanings.

What does success mean to you?

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  • For Khaleesi, success is nothing less than taking the Iron Throne.
  • For many entrepreneurs, it’s a laptop lifestyle with time and location freedom, as well as a five figure monthly income.
  • For me, success is having my own cozy little office where I work with my ideal clients, share my message, and make great money doing it. It’s creating my own schedule. It’s being able to close my laptop when my hubs gets home from work without stressing.

But enough about me, and all these other peeps. Let’s talk about you!

Maybe you already know exactly what success looks like for you.

If so, cheers!

If not, don’t despair. I’m gonna give you some food for thought, to help you figure it out.

Set aside a couple of hours and think about your business:

  • What is your ultimate goal?

  • When will you feel you have achieved success with it? It may be when you reach a particular level of income (the much-hyped six or seven-figure business perhaps?), when you’ve attracted a certain number of clients, or produced a specific product or service.

  • You may have goals based on your morals, beliefs, or ethics, and success for you might mean your business reaches a point you can donate a large sum of money to a charity you support or set up a social enterprise.

Now, picture yourself in your ideal life:

  • What are you doing?
  • Where are you living?
  • What kind of car do you drive?
  • What kind of clothes are you wearing?
  • How many hours do you work in a day?
  • How many days in a week?
  • Are you working alone or have you built a team?
  • Have you expanded into other areas?

Try to leave your ego out of the equation, as well as any guilt you may feel when you picture your dream life. Indulge yourself in imaging exactly what ‘success’ means to you.

Go Deep And Stay There

Are you committed to your success?

Like, really committed?

If so, time to get uncomfortable. Not like ‘getting your wisdom teeth’ uncomfortable, but like ‘pigeon pose during yoga’ uncomfortable (when it hurts so good).

This is the tough part of a success mindset.

You need to dig deep within yourself, find the things that are holding you back, or undermining your efforts and belief in yourself, and heal and/or release them.

Yep, you’ve gotta deal with your blocks and issues.

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you need to address that. If you struggle with your self-worth, you need to figure out why. Release and re-write any negative thoughts or feelings that crop up when you imagine yourself as a success.

You need to practice self-awareness for this. Monitor the way you think about success and the self-talk you use. When you’re asking yourself if you’re capable of doing something, do you answer, “Yaaas, Queen!!”

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...or reel off a list of reasons you will fail?

The only person who can do this is you.

It may take time, and you must be completely honest with yourself. In some cases, you may also need to look back through your life and figure out what caused you to develop your negative thought processes and feelings. That way, you can recognize what’s true and what’s a story that you have been telling yourself (and maybe others) for a long time.

That can be intense, and painful, but it is so worth it.

Examining yourself on a deep level and addressing any issues you have relating to your self-image, self-esteem, and self-beliefs is incredibly beneficial for all areas of your life. But it’s essential if you want to be truly successful.

Download my Free Money Mindset Workbook for more detail on how to approach this, so you can uncover the blocks and release them for good.

One of the top issues people encounter that prevent them developing a success mindset is comparisonitis.

How to Avoid Comparisonitis

What happens if you’re running in a foot race and you start looking around?

You’re going to misstep.

Now, I’ve never run in a foot race, but it’s easy enough to recognize the wisdom in the analogy.

We’ve all been there.

Someone else is doing what you do, and she’s doing it better, or differently, or more successfully, or she simply beat you to the punch. Plus, she’s rocking the Louboutins you couldn’t afford.

It can be valuable to our success to model our strategies and mindsets after the people who have successfully achieved what we are setting out to do. It can allow us to learn from (and avoid) their mistakes, reaching our destination in a shorter time by using proven methods.

But it can also be detrimental to our success if we’re not careful.

The act of mentally comparing yourself to someone else almost inevitably results in competing with her. She becomes the yardstick by which you measure your own accomplishments, and because she is already successful (if she wasn’t, you wouldn’t be comparing) and you are (for now), not yet on her level, you inevitably find yourself lacking.

You begin to doubt your abilities and even the validity of your desire to do what you are doing.

It’s easy for this to then begin spiraling into a harsh analysis of every area of your life until you’re in dirty sweatpants on the couch, binging on Rocky Road ice cream and Katherine Heigl flicks on a Tuesday afternoon.

Let’s avoid this.

A powerful way to avoid comparisonitis is to shift your focus away from other people and bring it onto yourself. This is something most people naturally avoid. It can feel like self-obsession, or even arrogance, to dismiss other people and think only of ourselves. But in this context, it’s imperative.

Stop competing with other people; compete with yourself instead.

  • How much better are you at what you do compared to the level you were at a month ago, or a year ago?
  • What are you doing to ensure you’re at a higher level a month, or a year, from now?

Focusing on self-improvement will soon ensure you compare far more favorably to other people. If you’re always watching them rather than yourself, you’ll get stuck, while they move further and further away.

Establish A Daily Ritual

Once you’ve starting shifting your mindset away from the negative and towards the positive, it’s important to keep the momentum going. Make it a priority to have a daily success ritual, something you do every day that helps you touch base with your success.

It’s crucial to hold on to your vision loosely.

Don’t want to grip it so tightly your knuckles turn white as you desperately squeeze the life out of it.

As my ballet teacher used to tell us about holding the ballet barre, hold your dream gently and softly, like you’re holding a baby squirrel’s neck, and you don’t want to hurt it.

A daily ritual will help you do this.

Setting goals isn’t enough. You need to train your brain to work towards them continuously and ensure you remain inspired and motivated.

One thing you will notice about successful people, they have success-driven habits.

Create a ritual that will help you achieve your goals and do it every day.

The more you do this, the less you will have to think about it. In time it will become something you do on auto-pilot. It becomes habitual.

You will find you achieve far greater success when you have habits in place that directly support your goals and the achievements you want to create through them. A daily ritual will not only help you achieve your goals; it will keep you motivated.

Develop daily habits that allow you to tap into your success mindset.  Some examples of daily habits include the following:

  • Say daily mantras or affirmations that remind you of important elements of the success mindset you are trying to cultivate. Things like:
  • Things are always working out for me.
  • I’m a powerful, prosperous, creator.
  • My work is valuable and I’m highly compensated for it.
  • I can be, do, or have whatever I desire.
  • Meditating
  • Creating gratitude lists. I find it helpful to write down ten things I’m grateful for (including the reason why I'm grateful for it). I then go back and read through the list, really focusing on how grateful I am and repeating “thank you” in my head.
  • Reading books that will provide you with daily inspiration and motivation. Keep a stack of success-orientated books on hand and read a chapter or two every day. Here are a few to get your success library started:
  • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
  • The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
  • The Laws of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson

Embrace The Climb

While it’s important to understand your ultimate definition of success, and put habits in place to support your goals, it’s equally important to comprehend that rushing to the finish line isn’t necessarily the most efficient way to reach your goal.

What’s the hurry?

This idea that you have to accomplish as much as possible, as fast as possible, comes from a scarcity mindset. You feel there’s an insufficient amount of time for you to accomplish everything you desire.

It’s just not true, my friend.

But it’s understandable that you become attached to, and possibly even obsessed with, the success you are trying to create. Even so, focusing on the final destination puts a massive amount of pressure on you.

It also makes the journey more complicated than it needs to be.

If you’re focused on the end, then finding yourself anywhere other than the finish line can feel like a failure. It doesn’t matter how much you have achieved, or how successful you have become along the way, you’re not quite there yet, and that feels wrong.

But this makes zero sense.

If you were driving from New York to Los Angeles, would you throw a tantrum because you were in Missouri?

I thought I’d be further along by now.
Ugh, I’m such a failure.
I’m giving up and turning around!

No, of course not! (Well, maybe a little tantrum because it’s a long drive, but not enough to give up and turn around.)

So why take that approach in your journey through life?  

Success isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon.

Or, more accurately, it’s a climb.

Believe You’ll Succeed

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”
– Henry Ford

The behavior we exhibit and the actions we take run in tandem with our beliefs. If you believe you will succeed, your behavior and actions reflect this, and everything you do moves you closer to achieving your objectives.

If you encounter obstacles along that path, your certainty of eventual success allows you to find creative and efficient solutions. You don’t turn back at the first hurdle. You believe you will succeed, therefore anything in your way must be surmountable.

Belief is the difference between understanding that obstacles are a natural part of the journey, and the mindset that everything is too hard, and nothing ever goes well for you.

If you want Beyoncé confidence, you need to recognize what’s true:

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  • Things are always working out for you.
  • You can be, do, or have whatever you desire.
  • The Universe has your back.
  • The only limits are those you create in your own mind.

Stop arguing for your own limitations.

You will achieve greater success and hit goals in increments, moving increasingly higher and closer to your ultimate definition of success. Sometimes, when you’re climbing a massive mountain, you have to come back down a little way to reach the right path - the path that will lead you even higher.

Success is very much like this. You may have setbacks. You may encounter obstacles. You may fail at times.

Don’t assume it means you’re not destined to succeed. Embrace it as part of the journey. Each step you take is a small success that builds to the achievement of a goal, the surmounting of a new peak. Each peak is a part of the larger climb to the top of a huge mountain.

And guess what?

When you reach the top of that mountain and finally achieve your ultimate goal, your final definition of success, you will look around and find another mountain, sitting there waiting for you to climb.

We’re expansive beings in an expansive universe; your achievements are going to set off new sparks of desire.

You have a destination in mind, but the journey is as important (if not more important) than the finish line.

The more open you are to this, the more quickly you will reach the top, and the more fun you will have along the way.

Download my Free Money Mindset Workbook for more detail on how to approach this, so you can uncover the blocks and release them for good.

How to Raise Your Awareness and Boost Your Money Consciousness

 How to Raise Your Awareness and Boost Your Money Consciousness

In the world of coaching - and online business in general - there’s one topic that people can’t seem to stop talking about.

Money.

It’s a subject with endless questions, all of which seem crucial.

How can I make more money?

How can I earn X amount of money in Y amount of time?

How much should I charge my clients?

Money creates a conflict for many who are ready to take the plunge and start a business. On the one hand, it seems like starting a business has the potential to make you lots of money, while giving you full control over your life, schedule, and work/life balance. On the other, people are naturally inclined to seek stability and security, which is in direct opposition to becoming an entrepreneur.

There are so many who dream of starting their own business and escaping the nine-to-five grind, yet they hold themselves back, afraid of losing the stability of a regular salary.

Getting Over The Hump

Most people in this predicament find they can only get over this hump when the pain of staying in their current situation outweighs their fear of change.

That’s certainly how it was for me.

When I was a lawyer, I made good money, but I felt stuck. The world of litigation is fast-paced and challenging, and I learned a great deal.

But I dreaded Mondays.

Each week, as Sunday night rolled around, even the anticipation of a new episode of Game of Thrones couldn’t block out the familiar tightness in my chest, as I thought of the inevitable stress and overwhelm I’d have to face throughout the upcoming week.

The tipping point finally came when one of the partners at my firm yelled at me - for a mistake he had made.

At that point, I knew with certainty that it was time for a change.

Still, I didn’t take action.

Despite knowing change was needed and the pain of my situation, I had intense, constant fear about leaving behind a job that paid well. The truth is, I’d never have started my own business (certainly not a successful business) if I hadn’t first shifted my money consciousness. I’d have followed the safer path, remained a lawyer, and simply moved to another firm.

I’d have continued to struggle on, just under a different set of stresses.

Here are three concepts to support you in raising your money consciousness.

Your Fear Isn’t What You Think It Is

Here’s the thing: the majority of your concerns are rooted in a desire to avoid a particular feeling. When we are afraid of a negative event, we’re usually not scared of the event itself, but the feeling we would be left with should the event occur.

For example, I was recently speaking with my client, Carrie, who had a deep desire to start her own business. When I asked her what was holding her back, she said: “I’m afraid of failure.”

By itself, the fear of failure is meaningless. You can fail in any number of ways, large or small, at any time, and nothing bad will come of it.

When we dug a little deeper, it became clear that Carrie wasn’t afraid of failure alone, but of public failure. Carrie was afraid of what people would say about her if she were seen to fail. If she tried to start a business, and it didn’t work.

She was imagining people judging her for that failure, saying things like...

“Who did she think she was, to start her own business?”

“She made a huge mistake leaving her cushy job.”

Imagining those words coming from people she knew, liked, respected, or admired, and even people she didn’t like, left Carrie feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

Realistically, she knew that failure would not be the end of the world. She had enough support and resources in place that her situation would not be dire. Failure itself was not what she feared, but the thought of enduring the shame and embarrassment that would come with it was terrifying. The fear of judgment was holding her back, preventing her from pursuing her dream.  

There Are Three Types of Business in the World

Carrie’s fears are typical. Indeed, the majority of fears concerning to how we might feel relate to other people. I learned two important things about fear from Byron Katie’s excellent book Loving What Is.

The first is that there are three types of “business” in the world:

The Universe’s Business

Things that are completely beyond your control, such as famine, floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, wars, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc.

Other People’s Business

This type of business relates to other people’s thoughts, beliefs, opinions, actions, or emotions, and is also totally out of your control.

Your Business

The only kind of business over which you have control are your thoughts, beliefs, opinions, actions, and emotions. Concerning yourself with anything other than your business is what leads to much of our unhappiness. Moreover, if you’re preoccupied with someone else’s business, who is paying attention to and leading your life?

The second thing I learned from Byron Katie is that many of our thoughts related to other people are projections.

Your Thoughts About Others May Be Projections

If what you are thinking or feeling relates to other people, it’s likely you are projecting.

A projection is the belief that someone else is thinking something because you think it. You believe something to be true, and therefore assume other people believe it. Rather than accepting it is your own thought or belief and taking ownership of it, you attribute it to someone else and react to that person as if you genuinely know what they are thinking.

Here’s how you know it’s a projection: you’re attributing a particular thought, attitude, or line of thinking to someone else.

You can never know, with absolute certainty, what someone else is thinking. Even if someone tells you something, it may not be an accurate reflection of their thoughts and beliefs.

“I know she thinks that because that’s what she said!” is a response I frequently hear to this point. But it negates a fundamental truth about human nature: people lie. Not all the time, but often enough that you can never be entirely sure they are telling the whole truth. Often enough, people don’t even know they’re lying to you because they don’t know that they’re lying to themselves!

Your projections can tell you a great deal.

You may find the opposite of your projection is true, or it could be that your projection is how you truly feel about yourself.

For example, you’re upset with your friend, Sarah, because you think she’s disregarding your feelings. But when you dig a little deeper, you may find that’s not the truth of the situation.

Perhaps Sarah is not disregarding your feelings.

Perhaps you are disregarding Sarah’s feelings.

Perhaps you are disregarding your own feelings.  

Teaching yourself to recognize when you are projecting will help you to move past the preconceptions and misunderstandings that are holding you back in your life and your work.

How To Raise Your Money Consciousness In Your New Business

The concept of projection is often vividly demonstrated by someone considering starting a new business because the desire to become an entrepreneur brings up so many fears relating to what other people may think.

People will think I’m greedy if I want to make more money doing work I love.

People will think I’m a failure if it doesn’t work out.

People will think I’m arrogant and presumptuous; who am I to start a business?

These are all projections.

For example, a common fear among people interested in starting their own businesses is that people will think they’re irresponsible if they leave their 9-5.

But is that genuinely true, or can you turn it around?

Will people think you’re irresponsible, or will they think you’re making a responsible choice by extricating yourself from a stressful situation?

Do you believe it’s irresponsible when other people leave their 9-5s? Are you harboring the thought that leaving the financial security of your 9-5 is an irresponsible thing to do?

When you’re willing to explore the possibility you are projecting you can make a powerful shift in your perceptions. It can allow you to take personal responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and gain the self-awareness needed to correctly understand what you’re worried about.  

Recognising Real Fear

Not all fears are projections; some are real. The trick is identifying the real ones and taking calculated risks.

If you are already struggling financially, now is not the best time to risk investing in something you can’t afford. When you’re struggling to make ends meet, leaving your day job to pursue a get rich quick story someone told you is a bad idea.

Be willing to take risks, but be smart about it. Don’t take action that will put your well being in jeopardy.

The Difference Between Effort and Struggle

There is an important distinction between effort and struggle. Effort is a natural aspect of our creative work. Making an effort is a wonderful thing!

Effort means you are putting your energy out into the world.

Humans are constantly exchanging energy. At its core, money is simply a form of energy. We ascribe it meaning and value; without that, it’s nothing more than a piece of paper or disk of metal, created by various governments.

Money is significant to us for one simple reason: we can exchange it for things and experiences we need and desire.

We all have some gift. Making an effort allows you to share that gift. Money allows you to exchange it for things you need and want while providing others with things they need and want. Effort enables you to do this.

Struggle is very different. Struggle is what happens when your efforts are infused with negative emotions. Struggle removes all the lightness, joy, and fun from your effort and makes it a burden.

You can either exert effort or you can struggle.

Either way, you are putting your energy out into the world in the form of work and creativity, and receive energy back from the world in the shape of money. But when you are struggling, the amount of money you receive in exchange for your work is out of balance with the energy you put into it. In fact, struggle can entirely cut off the flow of money or reduce it to a drip. This leaves you drained, and often prevents you from having the things you need and desire because you don’t have enough money to pay for them.

Making money through effort is far more fun (and abundant) that making money through struggle.

Are Your Struggling In Your Business?

If you’re creating something and find it a huge, horrible struggle, you may be heading down the wrong path.

One of the joys of launching your own business is that you have the freedom and flexibility to make your own choices.

You have the ability to create things in a way that is naturally aligned with your gifts, that feels good. It’s an effort, but not a struggle. Challenges are often a positive aspect of this, but if everything is negatively charged, causing you stress and struggle, and making you groan every step of the way, where’s the fun for you?

Where’s the freedom?

Worthy endeavors and great ideas won’t get you far if your heart isn’t in it. It’s easy to hold onto ideas even if they don’t inspire you, because you know they’re good and capable of helping people. You’re afraid to let go due to a sense that you (or the world) would be missing out on something. But whenever you’re creating something new, it’s important to know why you are doing it.

Why you are doing it for yourself, and why you are doing it for the world.

You need both.

It’s not enough that your idea is right for your audience or humanity in general, is also has to be right for you.

Finding Your Why

Why do you, personally, want to create this thing? How will it benefit you, how will it enrich your life?

For example, I started my business to create more fun, freedom, and flexibility in my life. I wanted to teach and help people, but in a way that felt positive and uplifting. Seeing other people reach their potential lights me up. I wanted to earn great money without feeling drained and exhausted at the end of the week. Instead, I wanted to feel inspired and proud.

Finding The World’s Why

There are people out there struggling with things that come naturally to me. When I started my business I knew there were women in the same situation I had been in: stuck in a draining job, or an even more challenging situation, searching for a way out. I knew that with my support their path could be easier, and they could find their own freedom.

A Belief Is a Thought You’ve Thought a Lot

As individuals we tend to put too much stock in thoughts. Our minds don’t stop. All day, every day, they’re buzzing with thoughts. We’re very attached to our thoughts, and our individual thought processes. We believe our thoughts define us.

I think, therefore I am.

More than that, however, we believe our thoughts are true.

When we have thought something repeatedly it ceases to be a mere notion and becomes a belief. A truth of our existence.

Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts we have thought a lot.

The problem with this is that repeatedly thinking something doesn’t make it true. When we think something and find evidence that supports the thought, or simply a lack of evidence that disproves it, we assume it’s true.

We think it again.

The more we think it, the more we believe it, and as soon as we believe it, it becomes true for us. It’s true for our world view.

It’s not necessarily true in a factual sense, but we believe it, and most people do not question their beliefs.

Once we have a belief, we continuously look for evidence of it’s truth. It’s just the way our brains work. They want to be right. Your brain processes information and thoughts and uses that data to affirm what you already believe. The world appears to be confirming your thoughts, so you think them even more often, and believe them even more thoroughly.

At the same time, your brain is (either consciously or unconsciously) filtering out anything that contradicts your belief. Anything that indicates what you believe is incorrect is filtered out. You ignore it, so much so that you’re often unaware it exists.

How to Be Successful: Upgrade Your Beliefs Around Work and Money

Even when our beliefs are not serving us, we find it very difficult to question them. This can be a huge block if you want to launch your own business and believe you won’t be able to earn enough money or make money easily.

In order to be successful, you need to upgrade your beliefs surrounding money and work. To do that, you first need to be willing to question them.

When you catch yourself thinking something negative or disempowering about money, pause and ask yourself, “Is that actually true?”

For example, you’re out shopping and see something you love. You want it, but when you check the price it’s higher than you expected. You immediately think, “I can’t afford that!”

Ask yourself, is that genuinely true?

The concept of what we can and can’t afford is frequently inaccurate, yet we throw the phrase around regularly. “I can’t afford it!” is, for many people, a mantra they live by and it’s very negative. It’s also frequently inaccurate.

The truth may actually be, “I can afford it, but it’s not the best way to spend my money right now.” Maybe you need the money to pay the rent, or buy food, or fix the car. The likelihood is you could, technically speaking, buy that thing you want, but if you do you won’t have money for something else.

Something you need or want more.

That’s not a lack, that’s a choice.

You don’t need to feel bad about choosing not to buy something. Instead you should feel positive that you are capable of making wise financial decisions, keeping a roof over your head, keeping yourself fed, or ensuring the car is running.

Shifting your mindset enables you to take yourself out of the role of victim, and empower yourself with the knowledge you are making a choice that best serves all of your interests.

By being discerning in your choices when it comes to money you are ensuring your financial security in the long run. When it comes to running a business, you will regularly have to decide where to invest your money. What are your priorities? What’s most likely to make you succeed. There will be many things you want (courses, flashy software, advertising campaigns, PR services, the list is endless) but you won’t always have the money to have everything.

If you are stuck in the “I can’t afford it!” mindset you will be easily demoralized and feel you are failing in your business, even if you’re doing well, simply because you can’t have it all.

Shifting to a more empowering perspective and recognizing you could afford things, but choose not to buy them right now, will likely ensure that (at some point) you will be able to have it all, without sacrificing something you need.

Start Raising Your Money Consciousness Now

A strong money consciousness is a necessity for running a successful business. Start raising the way you think about money now to ensure your success. To really help you action these concepts and take it all a step further, I’ve created a powerful in-depth workbook for you to download. Grab it now and let me know what you think.

How to be more confident

 How to be more confident

We all have huge potential energy that remains untapped because we allow our egos to get in the way. Our egos stop us from doing the work we’re drawn to because we fear we’re not good enough, smart enough—or simply not enough.

These internal blocks prevent us from experiencing fulfillment. When we’re able to get out of our heads and just focus on serving others, that energy is able to flow through us more readily. It’s only then that we can serve the people we work with (and work for) more fully and completely, allowing us to have a greater sense of fulfillment, self-confidence, and happiness.

Get out of your own head and take action to experience greater confidence NOW!

An introduction to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping

 An introduction to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping

Some of you who do a lot of mindset work may have heard of thins thing called EFT or Tapping and wondered what the heck people are talking about.

Tapping is based on the same meridians that are used in acupuncture – its a psychological acupressure technique that can be used to optimize your emotional health – your emotional health is incredibly important as it often determines the things we do and how we act on a regular basis.

EFT is incredible easy to learn and do and can be practiced on your own without any additional tools and resources.

The way of doing EFT is to think about whatever the issue is, accept yourself – even with your shortcoming, and then remove the charge through tapping on the acupressure points. All the while you're repeating an affirmation. This combination of activities then allows you to feel some emotional relief as the energy around whatever the issue is dissipates.

It sounds more complicated than it is so I'm going to show you an example in the video above.

The only thing that even needs to be learned are the points because you can make up your own scripts for tapping for any issues.

If I'm feeling anxiety about something I'm trying to finish before a deadline my script would be something like this, "even though, I'm anxious about this deadline, I love and accept myself completely and fully." I then repeat it. Then I begin tapping on the points thinking about the way I feel.