“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
- Marianne Williamson
I am obsessed with this quote from the brilliant Marianne Williamson because I see this SO much — people fearful of really putting themselves out there, creating what they want, switching jobs, pursuing the person the want to be with, or starting their dream business.
The thought process goes something like, “Well, if I don’t get what I want, it’s ok because I didn’t reeeeeally try.”
Let’s call an audible on that, shall we?
The truth is, there’s magic when we can recognize and move towards our own light — our big dreams.
Wanting something that’s big and out of your comfort zone can be scarier than a blackout when you’re home alone during a horror movie. Many people experience ‘upper limits’, a point in our growth and achievement that takes us outside our comfort zone because it goes beyond our threshold for a certain amount of good in our lives. When this happens, even though we really want it, we often find we’re unprepared for the change, and we self-sabotage, returning ourselves to a set point at which we felt comfortable.
Realizing a big dream takes more than just envisioning it and hoping for the best.
Aside from the physical work involved in making your dream a reality, you need to do the inner work necessary to ready yourself for that reality.
You need to mentally prepare yourself for the shift from the idea of your big dream, to actually making it happen.
When you have a big dream, it’s suuuper important to grow into it.
If you do some work around your dreams, what they will mean for you, and how they will change your life, it’s a lot easier to realize them.
And you’re far more likely to hold onto your dreams when you do succeed if you’ve done the work to prepare for their arrival.
Here are 7 things you must do to realize your big dream:
1. Get Clear On Your Vision
When there’s something you want it’s important to get really clear on exactly what it is.
When I decide there’s something new I want in my life, I picture exactly what my world would look like if I actually had it.
I’ve seen that things line up if you’re specific about exactly what you want.
You would never call up a pizza store and say, “Send me a pizza. Kthanksbye.”
You’d tell them exactly what you wanted, right down to the extra cheese, onions, and olives.
If you don’t tell them you want a stuffed crust, you can’t be surprised (or annoyed!) when a thin crust turns up on your door. (Uhh, pizza sounds so good right now!)
It’s not what you wanted, but the world didn’t know that, because you weren’t specific enough.
It’s the same with your dreams.
The more specific you are about what you want, the closer you’ll get to receiving exactly what you wanted.
Think about it.
How can you work toward something if you’re not completely clear on what exactly you’re aiming for?
You’ll never know when you achieve your goal, if what you’re doing is working, and whether there are other things you should be doing to get there.
You could be heading in the wrong direction, and you’d never know it.
It’s also a lot easier to stay motivated if you have a really clear image of how life will change once you have that thing you want.
Most of us would say we wanted more money, but when you know exactly what you’d do with that money, and precisely how much you need in order to do it, working towards the goal is a lot easier.
And the more specific you are the better.
Rather than saying ‘I want to earn more so I can go on vacation every year’, think about what that would look like.
Where will you go?
What will you do while you’re there?
How many vacations in a year?
Who will you take with you?
If you can picture yourself in Bora Bora, in a beautiful little bungalow with the warm sun kissing your skin and sparkling azure waves all around (can you tell what I’m dreaming of?), you’re going to be a lot more motivated to work on your goal.
2. Focus On How You Feel
One way to get clear on your big dream is to evaluate similar experiences you’ve had in the past. Times when you got close to your dream, but it wasn’t quite right.
Ask yourself, “Why wasn’t it right?”
By asking this question, you can find out what you need to be doing differently.
You might also want to think about how you’ll feel when you achieve your dream.
It’s easy to focus on the practical details of what you’ll do, and the numerical details of how much you will have, but feelings are just as (if not more!) important.
As you’re zooming in on your big dream make sure you don’t leave out your feelings. They are, ultimately, a big part of what we create in our lives.
The more aware you are of your feelings, the more easily you will be able to tap into your intuition, and work towards your goal from a place of inspiration.
Often we know in our gut if we’re on the right track, or heading down the wrong path, but it’s easy to disregard that intuition.
We set it aside, dismissing it as nerves, paranoia, cold feet, and any number of other explanations.
But if you’re truly going to create the life you want, and realize your biggest, most fabulous dreams, you should learn to follow through on the “nudges” of inspiration you feel.
More than that, working towards a dream shouldn’t be a huge struggle.
Often it’s the journey itself that proves to be most rewarding.
So while achieving your ultimate goal is important, you want to enjoy the ride to get there!
It shouldn’t usually be a struggle.
If you’re finding everything you’re doing is laced with negative emotion, and that you’re struggling through regardless, you’re probably on the wrong path.
3. Review Your Personal State
When you’re trying to realize a big dream, you might forget to look at how your current state invites that dream in.
Are your daily habits, work environment, and leisure time such that you’re big dream has the opportunity to become a reality?
Here’s the thing: big dreams don’t happen until there is space for them in your life.
For example, I wanted to meet my soulmate for years and I dated a lot.
There was a period when I was a lawyer, unhappy with my job, and I wasn’t attracting the person I wanted. I realized my life vision was too small for the person I wanted to meet. A man like the one I dreamed of meeting would want someone who was more dynamic than my current self. Someone who wasn’t sitting wasting away in a job, miserable, with no ambition.
I realized I needed something else to focus on.
Before I could find the perfect person to spend my life with, I had to make myself the person I truly wanted to be.
Until I’d done that, until I was 100% comfortable in myself, I would always attract the wrong people, because the man I wanted wouldn’t want me!
How could he - if I’m totally honest, I didn’t fully want myself back then. But it wasn’t until I stopped and reviewed where I was at personally that I realized this.
So, I shifted my personal state to focus on making myself happy instead of searching for a partner to do it. I became a coach ‘cause I wanted to create a career I could love and be proud of. I did become happier and more fulfilled as a result.
And right on cue, as I welcomed my dream self, I made room for my dream man to scamper into my life.
How could you shift your personal state to welcome your big dream?
Instead of focusing on what’s missing in your life, focus on creating the space in your life that will be occupied by your dream when it arrives.
Create the opportunity for what you want to enter your life.
4. Release Negative Beliefs
If you’re harboring any beliefs that your dream isn’t possible, it’s important to release them.
This can take a surprisingly long time. It helps to remember that a belief is nothing but a thought you have thought a lot.
Some of your beliefs become deeply ingrained, especially if you’ve been thinking them for 20 years or so.
It’s not as simple as saying, “I’m not going to think that anymore!” or “I don’t believe that anymore!”
The more ingrained beliefs are, the more they stick around.
At the heart of your negative beliefs is usually the feeling that you either don’t deserve your dream, or you’re not good enough to ever achieve it.
“I don’t deserve to have this!”
“I’m not enough to have this!”
There’s considerable variety in both of these. The specific reasons you believe you don’t deserve something will vary. Exactly why you feel you’re ‘not enough’ will also be different.
Whether you feel you’re not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, thin enough…. It doesn’t really matter.
I’ve experienced aspects of both of these beliefs. I had to forgive myself for believing each, and release them both on a deep level.
5. Clear Physical Space
You’ve already mentally and emotionally cleared the space for your dream by focusing on your feelings, reviewing your personal state, and releasing your negative beliefs.
Now it’s time to make the physical space required for your big dream.
It is crucial to really, really believe that your big dream is going to happen.
When you 100% believe in the eventual realization of your dream, it makes sense that you would physically prepare for its arrival.
That means decluttering.
Clear your calendar, make room in your home, or get the materials you’ll need for your dream.
Symbolically making space for what you want can have a big impact on actually creating it.
Once you have taken this step you can shift into a new mindset:
“I’ve done my work, now things are going to align.”
Your big dream becomes inevitable, because there’s space for it in your life, and you’re ready to receive it.
6. Take Inspired Action
Achieving your goals has a lot to do with mindset, but it’s important to remember that you also have to take action.
I say it all the time: your dreams don’t work unless you do.
It’s not enough to declutter, mentally and physically, and wait for your big dream to happen.
You need to take inspired action to make it happen.
Clearing the physical space for your dream is the first step to doing this, because it requires you to take action in the real world, and not just in your inner world.
Taking too many actions can be as limiting as taking no action at all. It’s far better for your action to be inspired, and firmly rooted in the clear vision you have established.
Rather than spinning your wheels and getting overwhelmed trying to do a million things that might achieve your goal, really focus. Determine exactly which actions are most important, and most likely to move you forward.
Start by asking yourself a simple question:
“What must I do today to move the needle forward?”
That will get the ball rolling.
If you can, come up with a full-on action plan.
Determine exactly what needs doing and when. Plan your inspired actions for the upcoming days, weeks, months, even years.
This can be a truly powerful and wonderful experience. It not only motivates you to act, and keeps you motivated in your action, it will help you achieve consistent, inspired, massive action.
7. Learn Continuously
Whatever you’re doing, become a master of it.
Mastery takes experience and constant learning.
When I became a lawyer I had to go through 4 years of undergrad, 3 years of law school, and take the CA bar before I could practice law.
I also spent 2.5 years actually working in a law firm as a clerk, learning the ins and outs of trial law.
There aren’t requirements like this in my current industry, but I bring that same studiousness to my career as a coach.
I’m constantly investing in coaching, mentorship, courses, and training. I continually invest in myself and the support I need for creating what I most desire.
Hire a coach or mentor. Take a course. Sign up for a training.
If you’re looking for a place to start, the waitlist for Business Launch Lab is now OPEN! It’s the PERFECT thing for anyone dreaming of starting their own biz and it’s opening November 13, 2017 with LIMITED spaces available. Click here to get on the waitlist so you can start realizing your big dream!